Technology and relationships: IELTS Task 2 essay #10, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
316 words. Marked by Axiom on 10 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2316 words
Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s world, modern communication technology such as smartphones, messaging apps, and social media has become very popular. However, I believe that this technology is having a negative effect on people’s social relationships.
Lexical resource
RevisedThese tools facilitate quick and easy connections.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural in terms of word choice.
Many people today have hundreds of online friends, but they do not really talk to them in a meaningful way. Most of their conversations are short messages, likes, or emojis. In contrast, face-to-face conversations allow people to see each other’s expressions, hear their tone of voice, and share deeper feelings.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe first point to consider is that online communication often leads to weak and shallow relationships.
This revision provides a clearer transition to the first point, improving the overall flow of the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThese factors do not contribute to the building of strong emotional connections.
The revised sentence corrects the incomplete reference, making the sentence more clear and accurate.
Lexical resource
RevisedFor instance, interacting with someone on platforms like Instagram or WhatsApp cannot replicate the experience of in-person meetings and quality time together.
The revision provides a more sophisticated and natural phrasing.
Since people often use text or voice messages, they do not practice speaking or listening well. This is especially true for young people who grow up using social media. As a result, they may struggle in job interviews, school discussions, or even when making new friends.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe second significant issue is that modern technology is deteriorating people's communication skills.
This revision provides a smoother transition to the second point, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedMany of them feel nervous when addressing the public or encounter difficulties in initiating real-life conversations.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing, making the sentence more clear and accurate.
In the past, going to a meeting or visiting someone required planning, dressing properly, and arriving on time. Nowadays, with online communication, these habits are disappearing. For instance, many people working from home do not follow a routine, which can affect their health, work quality, and relationships with coworkers.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedLastly, the impact of traditional communication methods on discipline and time management can’t be overlooked.
This revision provides a more effective transition to the third point, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
People should try to balance online communication with real face-to-face interactions to keep their relationships
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn conclusion, although modern communication technology offers speed and convenience, I am of the belief that it negatively impacts social relationships.
The revision corrects the more formal tone, making the sentence more appropriate for an academic essay.
Lexical resource
RevisedIt fosters weaker emotional connections, diminishes face-to-face communication skills, and disrupts beneficial habits such as planning and discipline.
The revision provides a more varied and precise vocabulary.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the points you have made in the body of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe first point to consider is that online communication often leads to weak and shallow relationships.
This revision provides a clearer transition to the first point, improving the overall flow of the essay.
RevisedThe second significant issue is that modern technology is deteriorating people's communication skills.
This revision provides a smoother transition to the second point, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
RevisedLastly, the impact of traditional communication methods on discipline and time management can’t be overlooked.
This revision provides a more effective transition to the third point, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThese factors do not contribute to the building of strong emotional connections.
The revised sentence corrects the incomplete reference, making the sentence more clear and accurate.
RevisedMany of them feel nervous when addressing the public or encounter difficulties in initiating real-life conversations.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing, making the sentence more clear and accurate.
RevisedIn conclusion, although modern communication technology offers speed and convenience, I am of the belief that it negatively impacts social relationships.
The revision corrects the more formal tone, making the sentence more appropriate for an academic essay.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThese tools facilitate quick and easy connections.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural in terms of word choice.
RevisedFor instance, interacting with someone on platforms like Instagram or WhatsApp cannot replicate the experience of in-person meetings and quality time together.
The revision provides a more sophisticated and natural phrasing.
RevisedIt fosters weaker emotional connections, diminishes face-to-face communication skills, and disrupts beneficial habits such as planning and discipline.
The revision provides a more varied and precise vocabulary.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Try to fully develop your conclusion to provide a more thorough summary of the points you have made in the essay.
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