Technology and relationships: IELTS Task 2 essay #17, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
264 words. Marked by Axiom on 5 June 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2264 words
Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that modern gadgets affect people’s social relationships when they rely on communication. While I admit the negative sides of using modern devices for communication, I disagree with this view.
As a result, they neglect the importance of peer and family relationships.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOne downside of modern technologies on relationships is that they may decrease face-to-face communication.
The correct term is 'modern technologies' not 'moder technologies'.
Lexical resource
RevisedExcessive use of modern devices such as smartphones and laptops can lead to neglect of real-life relationships, undermining social bonds.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate language for an academic essay.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn Uzbekistan, for example, the younger generation spends a lot of time scrolling through social media and communicating with their peers online on their gadgets.
The revised sentence is more natural and correct in terms of language use and grammar.
Using modern technologies can improve communication, bring people together, and enable them to stay in touch with other people, improving their social bonds and their lifestyle.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, I believe that the benefits of using cutting-edge technologies on social relationships are more significant.
The 'I' is not required in this sentence and it is more formal to say 'However, I believe'.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn Germany, for instance, using modern gadgets such as smartphones and laptops for communication has become an integral part of society.
The revised sentence is more natural and correct in terms of language use and grammar.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis allows them to overcome geographical barriers, making communication more accessible and convenient.
The correct term is 'overcome' not 'brake' and 'convenient' is more appropriate in this context than 'easier'.
I believe that benefits of cutting-edge devices are more significant. Using them can bring people together and allow them to stay in touch with people, thereby strengthening their bonds.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while I acknowledge the disadvantages of modern devices for communication, such as screen addiction and the neglect of quality time with loved ones,
The revised sentence is more concise and the ideas are more clearly expressed.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne downside of modern technologies on relationships is that they may decrease face-to-face communication.
The correct term is 'modern technologies' not 'moder technologies'.
RevisedHowever, I believe that the benefits of using cutting-edge technologies on social relationships are more significant.
The 'I' is not required in this sentence and it is more formal to say 'However, I believe'.
RevisedIn conclusion, while I acknowledge the disadvantages of modern devices for communication, such as screen addiction and the neglect of quality time with loved ones,
The revised sentence is more concise and the ideas are more clearly expressed.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are some minor errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use that could be addressed. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical constructions, such as passive voice and conditional sentences, could add variety and sophistication to the writing.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedBeing glued to phones, spending hours unaware of the passage of time, and being addicted to cutting-edge devices such as laptops and tablets may make people ignore their loved ones, undermining their social bonds.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and makes the meaning clearer.
RevisedIn Germany, for instance, using modern gadgets such as smartphones and laptops for communication has become an integral part of society.
The revised sentence is more natural and correct in terms of language use and grammar.
RevisedThis allows them to break down geographical barriers, making communication more accessible and convenient.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the word 'brake' and improves the overall clarity and precision of the sentence.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, especially with terms related to technology and social relationships. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be refined for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and sophisticated language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedExcessive use of modern devices such as smartphones and laptops can lead to neglect of real-life relationships, undermining social bonds.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate language for an academic essay.
RevisedThis allows them to overcome geographical barriers, making communication more accessible and convenient.
The correct term is 'overcome' not 'brake' and 'convenient' is more appropriate in this context than 'easier'.
RevisedIn Uzbekistan, for example, the younger generation spends a lot of time scrolling through social media and communicating with their peers online on their gadgets.
The revised sentence is more natural and correct in terms of language use and grammar.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the negative and positive effects of modern communication technology on social relationships. The writer presents a clear position, acknowledging the disadvantages while also highlighting the benefits. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the implications of these technologies on social relationships.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.
Check your own essay on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 2 checker works.
Check an essay free