Road safety and punishment: IELTS Task 2 essay #14, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
363 words. Marked by Axiom on 9 May 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2363 words
The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I firmly believe that, there are available another options such as effective implement to improve road security could be to update road infrastructure.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn the modern era, the percentage of accidents and violations on the roads is significantly increasing.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and ensure that the verb tense is consistent.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe majority of people assume that implementing stricter punishments is the only way to improve road safety.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and improve the clarity and accuracy of the statement.
In United Arab Emirates, for instance, if drivers increase the speed extrimely, the driving lisence are canceled to a temporary or if this situation happens again, the driving lisence are canceled to permanently.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, some people support the idea of introducing stricter punishments because they believe that severe punishments can deter potential violators and reduce repeated violations.
The sentence is revised to improve the use of cohesive devices and ensure clarity and coherence.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn other words, if drivers know that even minor mistakes can lead to severe punishments, they are less likely to break the rules, and as a result, the percentage of deaths by accidents can also decrease.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and improve the clarity and accuracy of the statement.
Lexical resource
RevisedTherefore, if stricter punishments are enforced more on the roads, road safety will significantly improve.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and improve the clarity and accuracy of the statement.
Additionally, if there were more skilled drivers on the roads, traffic accidents also would decrease notably. This way enables more skillfull drivers on the roads and road safety has also noticiably imroved.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFurthermore, we should not become solely reliant on stricter punishments as there are other effective solutions such as implementing regular driving tests to improve drivers' skills and assess their ability.
The sentence is revised to improve the use of cohesive devices and ensure clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThat is to say, if the government launches the driving exams, the number of qualified and professional drivers is also likely to increase.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and ensure that the verb tense is consistent.
Specifically, expanded and well-planned road network enhance traffic efficiency, reduce congestion, and also good quality of roads influence to economy growth.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn addition, developing road infrastructure plays a crucial role in enhancing road security.
The sentence is revised to improve the use of cohesive devices and ensure clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedTo put it differently, if the quality of roads is improved, ensuring that products are delivered on time would minimize delays and bring about positive changes in the business sector.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and ensure that the verb tense is consistent.
In conclusion, developing road infrastructure brings many benefits such as improved road safety, reduced traffic congestion and better economic growth. Therefore, investing in regular driving tests and well-planned road system is essential for rose the number of master drivers and more efficient transport network.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your position.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, some people support the idea of introducing stricter punishments because they believe that severe punishments can deter potential violators and reduce repeated violations.
The sentence is revised to improve the use of cohesive devices and ensure clarity and coherence.
RevisedFurthermore, we should not become solely reliant on stricter punishments as there are other effective solutions such as implementing regular driving tests to improve drivers' skills and assess their ability.
The sentence is revised to improve the use of cohesive devices and ensure clarity and coherence.
RevisedIn addition, developing road infrastructure plays a crucial role in enhancing road security.
The sentence is revised to improve the use of cohesive devices and ensure clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. The essay demonstrates a good control of a wide range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few errors in sentence structure and tense usage that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn the modern era, the percentage of accidents and violations on the roads is significantly increasing.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and ensure that the verb tense is consistent.
RevisedThat is to say, if the government launches the driving exams, the number of qualified and professional drivers is also likely to increase.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and ensure that the verb tense is consistent.
RevisedTo put it differently, if the quality of roads is improved, ensuring that products are delivered on time would minimize delays and bring about positive changes in the business sector.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and ensure that the verb tense is consistent.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe majority of people assume that implementing stricter punishments is the only way to improve road safety.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and improve the clarity and accuracy of the statement.
RevisedIn other words, if drivers know that even minor mistakes can lead to severe punishments, they are less likely to break the rules, and as a result, the percentage of deaths by accidents can also decrease.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and improve the clarity and accuracy of the statement.
RevisedTherefore, if stricter punishments are enforced more on the roads, road safety will significantly improve.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and improve the clarity and accuracy of the statement.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The writer's opinion is clearly stated, and the essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the topic. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the position.
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