Road safety and punishment: IELTS Task 2 essay #12, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
271 words. Marked by Axiom on 9 May 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2271 words
The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While, some people argue that implementing high amount of fines for breaking laws on
roads is only way to enhance road safety, i believe there are more tackles for
increasing quality of safety on roads. I partly agree to this opinion, which teaching road
signs and funding more on cutting-edge technologies aimed to keep stricter privacy in
cars can be also processed effectively in order to improve roads’ safety.
On the one hand imposing higher punishments for driving offences among individuals
help reduce crimes related to roads. Paying vast amount of fines or imprisonment
leads to feeling of guilt for their wrong commitment, which is contributes to declining
rates of traffic crimes. As a result, other people in society try to be more conscious
during driving through seeing consequences of such violations of traffic.
On the other hand, educating youngsters road signs and teaching them to
follow infrastructure of roads can help cease traffic violations. Being informed
about signs and laws on roads bolster life expectancy level among drivers. Moreover,
promoting each car with smart airbags, security belts, and adding some ai regime often
can be lifesaver during crisis periods. Consequently, such kind of safety features and
ai regulation in car works for dropping number of accidents on roads. For instance, in the USA, Ilon Musk discovered his Tesla cars completely different rather than regular
ones, which are controlled by Ai Nexus and not only for users’ confidence but also for
saving safety on roads.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, providing beneficial solutions for both individuals and governments can encourage people to obey rules more willingly, rather than just under financial pressure.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion, making the message more coherent.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance on the issue.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance on the issue.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, imposing higher punishments for driving offences among individuals helps reduce road-related crimes.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and better connection between the ideas.
RevisedOn the other hand, educating youngsters about road signs and teaching them to follow road infrastructure can help reduce traffic violations.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas, making the message more coherent.
RevisedIn conclusion, providing beneficial solutions for both individuals and governments can encourage people to obey rules more willingly, rather than just under financial pressure.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion, making the message more coherent.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures effectively. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedWhile some people argue that implementing high amounts of fines for breaking road laws is the only way to enhance road safety, I believe there are more strategies for improving road safety.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and awkward construction, making the message more clear and concise.
RevisedAs a result, other people in society may become more conscientious while driving, as they can see the consequences of such traffic violations.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and awkward construction, making the message more clear and concise.
RevisedFor instance, in the USA, Elon Musk has designed Tesla cars to be significantly different from regular ones, which are controlled by AI Nexus, not only for the users' confidence but also for enhancing safety on the roads.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and awkward construction, making the message more clear and concise.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire, with a variety of vocabulary used effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedI partly agree with this opinion, which suggests that teaching road signs and investing more in cutting-edge technologies aimed at enhancing privacy in cars can also be effective in improving road safety.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity and accuracy of the message.
RevisedPaying substantial amounts in fines or facing imprisonment leads to a feeling of guilt for their wrongdoings, which contributes to a decrease in traffic crimes.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity and accuracy of the message.
RevisedMoreover, equipping each car with smart airbags, seat belts, and AI regulations can often be a lifesaver during crisis situations.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity and accuracy of the message.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could also benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument to provide a more balanced view.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counter-arguments to provide a more balanced view.
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