Parks turned into gardens: IELTS Task 2 essay #15, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
307 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 April 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2307 words
In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own vegetables and fruit. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
While there are certain benefits to this, they are outweighed by the drawbacks.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn recent years, public parks and open spaces have been transformed into gardens where local residents can grow their own produce.
The use of 'are being altered' and 'are able to' is incorrect in this context. The perfect tense and 'can' should be used.
In densely populated cities, access to fresh and affordable produce can sometimes be limited, particularly in lower-income areas. Working together towards a common goal can strengthen a sense of community and belonging, particularly in urban environments where social isolation is a growing concern.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOne advantage of transforming parks and open spaces into gardens is the opportunity for local food production.
The word 'convenience' may not be the best choice in this context. 'Advantage' or 'Benefit' would be more appropriate.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedCommunity gardens, which can reduce dependence on commercial supply chains and lower household expenses, allow residents to grow their own food.
The sentence is a bit awkward and the relative pronoun 'which' should be used at the beginning of the relative clause.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedEqually important is the social role that these gardens can play.
The sentence is missing the word 'equally important' to maintain coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor some individuals, particularly older residents or those living alone, such spaces provide meaningful opportunities for social connection and engagement.
The word 'routine' is not appropriate in this context and should be replaced with 'engagement'.
These benefits nothwithstanding, the drawback of alteration in parks and open spaces are far more significant. Traditional parks serve a wide range of purposes, from sports and physical activity to relaxation and leisure. Converting these areas into gardens may limit access for those who prefer or rely on open space for exercise, especially children and young people. While community gardens are often intended to serve local residents, participation may not always be equally distributed. Some individuals may lack the time, knowledge, or physical ability to engage in gardening activities, meaning that the benefits of these spaces are not shared equally.
Lexical resource
RevisedOne significant drawback is the potential loss of open recreational space.
The phrase 'major disadvantages' is not as natural collocation. 'Significant drawback' would be more appropriate.
Lexical resource
RevisedEqually concerning is the accessibility and fairness.
The sentence is not complete and the word 'equally' should be followed by an adjective.
Lexical resource
RevisedThere is also the possibility that certain groups may dominate access to the plots, leading to tensions within the community.
The word 'may' is missing in this sentence.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, although the conversion of gardens and open spaces into gardens presents several advantages, they are not as significant as the disadvantages.
The sentence is a bit confusing and could be made clearer.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne advantage of transforming parks and open spaces into gardens is the opportunity for local food production.
The word 'convenience' may not be the best choice in this context. 'Advantage' or 'Benefit' would be more appropriate.
RevisedEqually important is the social role that these gardens can play.
The sentence is missing the word 'equally important' to maintain coherence.
RevisedIn conclusion, although the conversion of gardens and open spaces into gardens presents several advantages, they are not as significant as the disadvantages.
The sentence is a bit confusing and could be made clearer.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn recent years, public parks and open spaces have been transformed into gardens where local residents can grow their own produce.
The use of 'are being altered' and 'are able to' is incorrect in this context. The perfect tense and 'can' should be used.
RevisedCommunity gardens, which can reduce dependence on commercial supply chains and lower household expenses, allow residents to grow their own food.
The sentence is a bit awkward and the relative pronoun 'which' should be used at the beginning of the relative clause.
RevisedFor some individuals, particularly older residents or those living alone, such spaces provide meaningful opportunities for social connection and engagement.
The word 'routine' is not appropriate in this context and should be replaced with 'engagement'.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne significant drawback is the potential loss of open recreational space.
The phrase 'major disadvantages' is not as natural collocation. 'Significant drawback' would be more appropriate.
RevisedEqually concerning is the accessibility and fairness.
The sentence is not complete and the word 'equally' should be followed by an adjective.
RevisedThere is also the possibility that certain groups may dominate access to the plots, leading to tensions within the community.
The word 'may' is missing in this sentence.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a well-developed response. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points.
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