Parks turned into gardens: IELTS Task 2 essay #17, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
275 words. Marked by Axiom on 26 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2275 words
In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their fruit and vegetables. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
While downside of changes can include a loss of recreational spaces and greater maintenance requirements, but they are outweighed by the benefits, such as a mental and physical well-being and economic stability.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThere has been a change in the number of public green spaces and recreational areas that have been converted into gardens.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
Many large cities are densely populated and the growth of horticultural areas can leave less room for other recreational activities. Gardens require regular watering, planting, cleaning. As a result it puts a lot of pressure on governments, spending more money on that.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOne disadvantage of expanding gardens is the potential loss of public spaces.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
Lexical resource
RevisedFor example, individuals can use parks for activities such as jogging, chatting, or walking.
The revised sentence is more precise and conveys the idea more clearly.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAnother significant drawback is the increased maintenance requirements.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more specific drawback to consider.
However, advantages of establishing gardens in urban areas are far greater. For example, while, people tending their gardens, they somehow forget their busy daily schedule and connect with natural world. This reduces stress, improve physical healthy and others. Economic stability can be another important advantage.
Lexical resource
RevisedOne of the major benefits is that it can improve mental and physical well-being.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNowadays, due to the rapid increase in urbanization, the public is either disconnected from the natural world or has limited exposure to it.
The revised sentence is more coherent and easier to understand.
Lexical resource
RevisedThat's why gardens can help maintain residents' mental and physical health.
The revised sentence is more accurate and conveys the idea more clearly.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor example, during World War II, the USA authorities implemented a rule to promote urban gardens, which resulted in a decrease in the unemployment rate and strengthened the economy.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
In conclusion, converting outdoor spaces and parks into urban gardens entails several challenges for authorities and residents, such as insufficient public spaces and higher maintenance. However, the upsides are much more significant, including physical and mental well-being and economic stability
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne disadvantage of expanding gardens is the potential loss of public spaces.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
RevisedAnother significant drawback is the increased maintenance requirements.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more specific drawback to consider.
RevisedNowadays, due to the rapid increase in urbanization, the public is either disconnected from the natural world or has limited exposure to it.
The revised sentence is more coherent and easier to understand.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions, but these do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThere has been a change in the number of public green spaces and recreational areas that have been converted into gardens.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
RevisedFor example, during World War II, the USA authorities implemented a rule to promote urban gardens, which resulted in a decrease in the unemployment rate and strengthened the economy.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the major benefits is that it can improve mental and physical well-being.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
RevisedFor example, individuals can use parks for activities such as jogging, chatting, or walking.
The revised sentence is more precise and conveys the idea more clearly.
RevisedThat's why gardens can help maintain residents' mental and physical health.
The revised sentence is more accurate and conveys the idea more clearly.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the counter-arguments.
Suggestions
- Consider providing a more detailed exploration of the counter-arguments to provide a more balanced view.
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