Parks turned into gardens: IELTS Task 2 essay #13, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
260 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 March 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2260 words
In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In some urban areas, parking and open spaces are being transformed into
gardens where citizens may grow their own fruit and vegetables. Although there
are some drawbacks of this change, I believe that benefits far outweigh them.
On the one hand, this change can be harmful to economic conditions of some
cities as they cannot make a profit from charges for public parks. As a result,
local authorities might not be able to provide sufficient amount of money in order
to improve infrastructure of a city in the future. The second disadvantage is that
there will be less parking spaces in a city. Therefore, local residents can face
difficulties with finding available parking zones.
However, I consider that the advantages of this transformation outweigh the
disadvantages. Firstly, this change can bring a benefit to the environment of a
city, reducing air and noise pollution in some areas. In addition, there will be
more green spaces in a city where citizens can relax from academic pressure or
pressure from work. Secondly, local residents can provide for themselves the
source of groceries instead of buying them. As a result, they can save their funds
for opening a new company, for example. Moreover, people can make money
from growing their own fruit and vegetables, selling them in a market. People
who are unemployed can also find a job in this field. Eventually, unemployment
and poverty rate might be decreased.
In conclusion, replacing public parks and open spaces by gardens where people
can do a business in farming industry has more benefits than drawbacks.
No passages are highlighted in this essay.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, this change could negatively impact the economic conditions of some cities, as they may not be able to generate revenue from charges for public parks.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more formal expression of the idea.
RevisedAnother potential disadvantage is the reduced number of parking spaces in the city.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedHowever, I believe that the advantages of this transformation outweigh the disadvantages.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and definitive statement of the writer's position.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAs a result, local authorities might not be able to provide the necessary funding to improve future city infrastructure.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and grammatically correct expression of the idea.
RevisedPeople who are unemployed may also find job opportunities in this field.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and formal expression of the idea.
RevisedThis could ultimately lead to a decrease in unemployment and poverty rates.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and grammatically correct expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn addition, these gardens can provide residents with a much-needed respite from the academic and work-related stressors of city life.
The revised sentence provides a more precise and natural expression of the idea.
RevisedSecondly, local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables, providing them with a sustainable source of groceries.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct expression of the idea.
RevisedMoreover, this initiative can provide an additional source of income for people, who can grow and sell their own fruits and vegetables.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct expression of the idea.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and the writer's position.
Suggestions
- Consider rephrasing the introduction to provide a clearer and more engaging overview of the topic and your position.
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