A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #5, band 7.0

There is a view that a new language should be invented for communication on a worldwide scale. While this idea may seem beneficial in terms of making it easier for people to interact, I believe English and a few other languages already became too unified into our lives, especially in the business and technology. Thus, there is no need for a new language.

A new global language could be helpful if it combined various elements of different languages into one language, it could be easier to learn and use. For example, many years ago, some group of people tried to invent new language. This group’s leader was Ludwig Zamehof, and in 1887 he was invented Esperanto language. However, Espetanto language couldn’t became global scale language. As a result, people's interest in that language continued to decline. At the present, approximately only 100.000 people using this language.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedA new global language, if it were to combine various elements of different languages, could be helpful as it pourrait être easier to learn and use.

   The sentence is a bit long and could be made more concise and clear.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThe leader of this group, Ludwig Zamehof, invented the Esperanto language in 1887.

   The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedConsequently, people's interest in the language continued to decline.

   The phrase 'as a result' is a bit informal and could be replaced with 'consequently' to improve formality.

4. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAt present, only approximately 100,000 people are using this language.

   The sentence is not grammatically correct and the meaning is unclear.

Knowing English and a few other languages, such as French and Spanish, has been beneficial for many years. This is because many students try to enter prestigious universities, such as Harvard, Princeton, and others, which are located in the USA, England, and other countries with highly regarded universities. As a result, they have to learn these languages. Not only do they need to learn these languages to enter the university, but also, currently, approximately 80 percent of the world's information is in English, according to Facebook's official website. This statistic means that if a person knows English well, they can access about 80 percent of the world's information.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedNot only is it required to learn these languages to gain admission to the university, but also, according to Facebook's official website, approximately 80 percent of the world's information is currently in English.

   The sentence is a bit long and the structure is somewhat awkward.

In conclusion, introducing a new language is unnecessary since English and several other widely spoken languages are already serving their purpose effectively. Encouraging the adoption of a new language would simply lead to the inefficient use of time and resources.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, introducing a new language may be unnecessary, as English and several other widely spoken languages are already serving their purpose effectively.

   The sentence is a bit abrupt and could be made to flow better.