A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #18, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
332 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2332 words
Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?
Some are of the view that a new international language ought to be created by human being in order to communicate.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhile there are several potential benefits to this idea, I firmly believe that the disadvantages may easily outnumber the advantages.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically accurate.
If there is a language understandable for almost every person, it cannot be denied that this can lead to economic growth.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, the invention of a new language could have several desirable effects.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe first advantage is that, by addressing the issue of language barriers, more people may be encouraged to travel.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more natural phrasing.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn other words, a language that could be understood by all might significantly boost the tourism industry in our modern world.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn most European countries, for example, a large number of people speak the same language, making travel around the continent easier.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically accurate.
Lexical resource
RevisedSecondly, language barriers can hinder international trade.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more natural phrasing.
On the other hand, in my opinion, the drawbacks of it should be also taken into consideration. First of all, provided that human being starts to interact with other language compared to their own one, this is highly likely to result in the loss of culture, simply put, along with traditions, language also plays a vital role in the culture development. As a result, from my perspective, losing or changing a language means ending the culture. Besides, history is directly linked to national languages so without them it may not be possible to gain knowledge about the history for future generations.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis could potentially highlight the risk of the past being forgotten in the future due to the use of a single language.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses more natural phrasing.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, despite the potential benefits such as an increase in tourism and economic growth, I firmly believe that the risk of cultural loss and forgetting history cannot be ignored.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, the invention of a new language could have several desirable effects.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and conveys the idea more clearly.
RevisedIn other words, a language that could be understood by all might significantly boost the tourism industry in our modern world.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedIn conclusion, despite the potential benefits such as an increase in tourism and economic growth, I firmly believe that the risk of cultural loss and forgetting history cannot be ignored.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could enhance the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedSome people believe that a new international language should be created to facilitate communication.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically accurate.
RevisedWhile there are several potential benefits to this idea, I firmly believe that the disadvantages may easily outnumber the advantages.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically accurate.
RevisedIn most European countries, for example, a large number of people speak the same language, making travel around the continent easier.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically accurate.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe first advantage is that, by addressing the issue of language barriers, more people may be encouraged to travel.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more natural phrasing.
RevisedSecondly, language barriers can hinder international trade.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more natural phrasing.
RevisedThis could potentially highlight the risk of the past being forgotten in the future due to the use of a single language.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses more natural phrasing.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the potential benefits and drawbacks of creating a new international language. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by offering a more detailed exploration of the topic.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Offer a more detailed exploration of the topic.
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