A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #17, band 8.0

In the present age, there is a proposal that there is a growing demand to create a new universal language for communicating globally. While the drawbacks associated with this trend can entail certain issues such as the loss of national identity and the emergence of public misunderstandings, I wholeheartedly believe that the benefits—the development of trade, a sense of unity, and a chance to globalization—seem to be more sensible in their ways.

To commence with, there are some undoubted demerits to make an invention of global interaction language, one of which is related to the cultural heritage of the country. To illustrate, if all nations have a single language for communication, they might begin to lose their national identity. Another factor to consider is that creation of a new communication medium poses a risk to public peace and harmony. Since this phenomenon is more likely to be rejected by society, if accepted, public shows their disagreement towards this tendency, making citizens dissatisfied resulting in civil riots. In addition to this, learning a new language requires considerable more time which tends to be disagreed by ordinary people.

These disadvantages notwithstanding, there are more compelling arguments in favor of the introduction of a new language. The chief primary upside is to boost trade and commerce among countries. This is mainly because countries can broaden their import and export pie using the universal language, enabling them to boost their own economy. This, in turn, leads to put a reduction in poverty and crime rates. What is more, it gives them a collective sense of unity, meaning that it can serve as a deterrent for would-be wars and be a reason for global peace. Moreover, globalization can be achieved through this universal language, bolstering the domains of science, healthcare system, as well as art.

1. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedDespite these disadvantages, the benefits of introducing a new language provide more compelling arguments.

   The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the following paragraph, where the benefits of the new language will be discussed.

2. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedThe primary benefit of this initiative is to boost trade and commerce among countries.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer and more formal expression of the main advantage of the proposed universal language.

3. Lexical resource

   Close revision note

   RevisedThis, in turn, could lead to a reduction in poverty and crime rates.

   The phrase 'put a reduction in' is not grammatically correct. The revised sentence provides a more accurate expression.

To conclude, even though I cite threats to the disappearance of cultural traits along with public rejection as the primary negative sides, I adamantly think that globalization, flourishing commercial practices coupled with a sense of harmony could be seen as positivity.