A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #10, band 8.0

There is a view that inventing a new language for international communication on a global scale can be at an advantage. The upsides of inventing a new language can include simplification and fostering unity, but these benefits are outweighed by issues such as risking cultural diversity and practical implementation.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThe advantages of inventing a new language may include simplification and fostering unity,

   The term 'upsides' is a bit informal and may not be the best choice in an academic essay.

One advantage of inventing a new language worldwide is simplification. A newly invented language can be designed with logical grammar and vocabulary, making it easier and faster to learn compared to natural languages, which have often irregularities and exceptions. Fostering unity can be another benefit. By offering a common linguistic platform, a newly constructed language can bridge cultural and linguistic divides, promoting global collaboration and understanding. This often means that they can coexist alongside native languages, enabling them to thrive, unlike English, which often overshadows other local languages.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedInventing a new language worldwide has the advantage of simplification.

   The revised sentence is more direct and clear.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedAnother benefit could be fostering unity.

   The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct statement.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThis could allow them to coexist with native languages, preserving their vitality, in contrast to English, which often overshadows other local languages.

   The revised sentence is more clear and uses more precise language.

Having said that, the drawbacks of inventing constructed language are far greater. One major problem associated with risking cultural diversity. A new universal language might unintentionally suppress local languages, leading to a loss of linguistic and cultural heritage. Languages often can bring traditions, stories, and unique ways of thinking, which could be eroded. Furthermore, introducing a constructed language on a global scale would require immense effort, including changes in education systems, technology, and media; without sufficient support and resources, this idea might fail.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOn the other hand, the drawbacks of inventing a constructed language are far greater.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer transition to the contrasting point.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedA new universal language could unintentionally undermine local languages, resulting in a loss of linguistic and cultural heritage.

   The term 'suppress' is a bit strong in this context and 'undermine' may be a better choice.

3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedFurthermore, introducing a constructed language on a global scale would require immense effort, including changes to education systems, technology, and media. Without sufficient support and resources, this idea might fail.

   The revised sentence provides a more clear and concise statement.

In conclusion, there are several upsides to inventing a new constructed language, such as convenience and promoting unity. However, the concerns are much more significant, including damaging cultural heritage and practical implementations.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, while there are several benefits to inventing a new constructed language, such as convenience and promoting unity,

   The revised sentence provides a more effective conclusion to the essay.