A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #15, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
390 words. Marked by Axiom on 7 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2390 words
Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?
Some people argue that inventing a new international language is needed for a better global communication. While having a shared language globally offers a number of upsides, I firmly believe this would cause several significant issues.
This, in turn, could improve international relations, business, diplomacy, and education. Another upside of a shared language is its possible economic advantages. Through an international language, global businesses and economies could benefit from smoother communication across borders. As a result, there will potentially be reduced misunderstandings, improved trade, and increased efficiency in international operations.
Lexical resource
RevisedOne advantage of creating an international language is the enhancement of global communication.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate word choice.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedA universal language, as a barrier-removing tool, would facilitate communication more easily among people from different linguistic backgrounds.
The revised sentence provides a more varied and accurate grammatical structure.
As language is a significant part of a person's cultural identity, a global language could diminish the importance of native languages. Consequently, this may potentially lead to the loss of cultural diversity and linguistic heritage. For instance, In Middle Ages, especially during the colonization period, dominant nations such English and Spanish got the native population of their colonies to learn their languages, causing to the loss of some indigenous languages and cultures in North and South Americas.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, the introduction of an international language may also lead to some serious issues.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the contrasting point.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOne significant drawback of a universal language is the potential loss of cultural identity.
The revised sentence provides a stronger and more concise statement of the point.
English is already widely used as a global language in many fields of the modern life. The main argument here is that introducing a new language globally would be a massive logistical challenge since getting billions of people to learn and use it would require an enormous amount of time, resources, and global cooperation.
Lexical resource
RevisedAdditionally, the presence of existing international languages, particularly English, presents another downside.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThat's why some may argue that instead of inventing a new language, resources should be directed towards improving the education and accessibility of English.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedMoreover, people may resist the idea of learning a new language, particularly if they have a strong attachment to their native language.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression of the idea.
Instead, fostering the use already widely-spoken languages, especially English, would save a great amount of time, resources and effort.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, the invention of a new universal language, despite its potential benefits such as improved global communication and economic advantages, could pose serious issues like the loss of cultural identity, which are far more significant.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion, and the phrase 'which are far more significant' helps to emphasize the seriousness of the potential problems.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedHowever, the introduction of an international language may also lead to some serious issues.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the contrasting point.
RevisedOne significant drawback of a universal language is the potential loss of cultural identity.
The revised sentence provides a stronger and more concise statement of the point.
RevisedIn conclusion, the invention of a new universal language, despite its potential benefits such as improved global communication and economic advantages, could pose serious issues like the loss of cultural identity, which are far more significant.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion, and the phrase 'which are far more significant' helps to emphasize the seriousness of the potential problems.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedA universal language, as a barrier-removing tool, would facilitate communication more easily among people from different linguistic backgrounds.
The revised sentence provides a more varied and accurate grammatical structure.
RevisedThat's why some may argue that instead of inventing a new language, resources should be directed towards improving the education and accessibility of English.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression of the idea.
RevisedMoreover, people may resist the idea of learning a new language, particularly if they have a strong attachment to their native language.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne advantage of creating an international language is the enhancement of global communication.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate word choice.
RevisedHowever, the introduction of an international language may also lead to some serious issues.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate word choice.
RevisedAdditionally, the presence of existing international languages, particularly English, presents another downside.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression of the idea.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to make it more engaging and to provide a clearer thesis statement.
- Consider revising the conclusion to make it more comprehensive and to provide a clearer summary of the main points.
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