A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #23, band 8.0

We are now living in a world characterized by increasing cross-cultural misunderstandings and miscommunications, where a growing number of linguists call for the creation of a new language to facilitate international communication. While the invention of a universal language could foster cultural interaction and global understanding, I firmly believe that the drawbacks inherent in this idea would ultimately far eclipse its prospective benefits.

Proponents of a universal language cite various compelling reasons to substantiate their viewpoint. Were a language constructed specifically for international use, it could effectively dismantle communication barriers among individuals from diverse cultural and national backgrounds, thus enabling them to forge stronger social ties and business collaborations. Such a development might also encourage people of different nationalities and cultural traditions to exchange their unique perspectives, heritage, and local customs, serving as a powerful catalyst for nurturing mutual appreciation and intercultural understanding. In an era where religious intolerance, ethnic prejudice, and cultural discrimination reign supreme due to a lack of shared understanding, the introduction of a universal language could play a pivotal role in uniting diverse populations and fostering a more empathetic global community, ultimately paving the way for greater peace and harmony across the globe.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedSupporters of a universal language present various persuasive arguments to back their position.

   The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedSuch a development might also encourage people of different nationalities and cultural traditions to exchange their unique perspectives, heritage, and local customs, thereby serving as a powerful catalyst for nurturing mutual appreciation and intercultural understanding.

   The use of 'serving as' at the end of the sentence is a bit awkward. The revision provides a more natural phrasing.

These arguments notwithstanding, in my view, the downsides of establishing a global language are far more significant. The creation of a new universal language would demand considerable time and effort to master, posing significant challenges for individuals with busy schedules and limited access to educational resources. Consequently, a linguistic gap may ensue, perpetuating/entrenching existing inequalities and exacerbating feelings of disenfranchisement and marginalization. At a time when many face difficulties enhancing their proficiency in their native languages due to insufficient academic materials and time constraints, the added pressure to learn a universal language could further intensify challenges related to financial resources and time management.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedHowever, in my view, the downsides of establishing a global language are far more significant.

   The transition from the previous sentence to this one could be smoother. The use of 'however' provides a clearer link between the two ideas.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThe invention of a new global language would require substantial time and effort to acquire, presenting significant challenges for individuals with hectic schedules and limited access to learning resources.

   The revision provides a more natural and precise phrasing.

3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedConsequently, a linguistic gap may ensue, perpetuating existing inequalities and exacerbating feelings of disenfranchisement and marginalization.

   The use of 'entrenching' is a bit awkward in this context. The revision provides a more natural phrasing.

4. Lexical resource

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   RevisedIn a context where many struggle to improve their proficiency in their native languages due to a lack of educational resources and time constraints, the additional pressure to learn a universal language could further exacerbate challenges related to financial resources and time management.

   The revision provides a more natural and precise phrasing.

To conclude, although the creation of a new universal language holds the potential to bridge communication gaps and foster unity among individuals from diverse backgrounds, I contend that the challenges related to time management and resource limitations would deter/hinder/impede marginalized groups from mastering such a lingua franca effectively.