A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #22, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
356 words. Marked by Axiom on 15 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2356 words
TASK 2: Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?
Creating a new language for people to communicate internationally is an intriguing topic. , I would argue that potential drawbacks far surpass its positives.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhile some people argue that there are obvious advantages to implementing a new global language
The revised sentence corrects the preposition use and is more natural.
If there were only a language for citizens of all countries in the world, international trade, diplomacy and travel would be easier than it is now. Another benefit can be seen in education. Books, educational materials ,and technologies , for instance, would have only one language ,which helps current education materials better by making clear terminologies and spreading educational information around the globe.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, the development of a new language could have several benefits.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedOne of them is the elimination of communication barriers.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and is more clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe new universal language could improve education by facilitating knowledge sharing.
The revised sentence is more clear and the phrasing is more natural.
Every year many languages are wiped out in small countries because of international languages which benefit people more than their own cultural and regional languages. Additionally, it is also difficult to implement the new language for all people around the world since it requires educational and financial resources. For example, in order to teach the new language, we usually need new resources which demand a huge amount of money. Developing countries will not be able to afford it when there are other sectors they need to invest. Moreover, we already have at least two languages, which billions of people communicate every day. If we have English and Russian languages, which have already widespread among billions of people, why do we have to create artificial one.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, the creation and implementation of a new language could pose several serious threats.
The revised sentence is more concise and the phrasing is more natural.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedChief among them is the loss of linguistic diversity.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and is more natural.
Lexical resource
RevisedIf there were a common language, people would be more likely to use it for travel, communication, or media, rather than sticking to their own languages.
The revised sentence is more clear and the phrasing is more natural.
That is why, we do not have to create the new artificial language.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while the creation of a new language could be beneficial in areas such as tourism and education, I believe that the potential challenges outweigh the benefits.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise, and the phrasing is more natural.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, the development of a new language could have several benefits.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedOn the other hand, the creation and implementation of a new language could pose several serious threats.
The revised sentence is more concise and the phrasing is more natural.
RevisedIn conclusion, while the creation of a new language could be beneficial in areas such as tourism and education, I believe that the potential challenges outweigh the benefits.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise, and the phrasing is more natural.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few errors in verb tense and preposition use that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to maintain the reader's interest.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedCreating a new language for international communication is an intriguing topic.
The revised sentence is more natural and removes the unnecessary dollar sign.
RevisedWhile some people argue that there are obvious advantages to implementing a new global language
The revised sentence corrects the preposition use and is more natural.
RevisedChief among them is the loss of linguistic diversity.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and is more natural.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could help to illustrate the points more clearly.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of them is the elimination of communication barriers.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and is more clear.
RevisedThe new universal language could improve education by facilitating knowledge sharing.
The revised sentence is more clear and the phrasing is more natural.
RevisedIf there were a common language, people would be more likely to use it for travel, communication, or media, rather than sticking to their own languages.
The revised sentence is more clear and the phrasing is more natural.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the potential benefits and drawbacks of creating a new language for international communication. The writer presents a clear position that the potential drawbacks outweigh the benefits and supports this position with relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.
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