A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #19, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
332 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2332 words
Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?
Some are of the view that a new international language ought to be created by human being in order to communicate.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhile there are several positive impacts of this idea, I firmly believe that the disadvantages far outweigh the benefits.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
In most Europe countries, for example, a huge amount of people speaks with one language, thereby traveling all around the continent. If there is a language understandable for almost every person, it cannot be denied that this can lead to economic growth.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, the invention of a new language could have a variety of desirable effects.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe first advantage is that, by addressing the issue of language barriers, there could be a significant increase in the number of people favoring travel.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn other words, a language that could be understood by all, might, in all probability, make the tourism industry thrive in our modern world.
The revised sentence is more formal and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedSecondly, it is the language problem that weakens trade between nations.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically correct.
On the other hand, in my opinion, the drawbacks of it should be also taken into consideration. First of all, provided that human being starts to interact with other language compared to their own one, this is highly likely to result in the loss of culture, simply put, along with traditions, language also plays a vital role in the culture development. Besides, history is directly linked to national languages so without them it may not be possible to gain knowledge about the history for future generations.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAs a result, in my view, the loss or change of a language is tantamount to the loss of culture.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically correct.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis, in turn, highlights the possibility of future generations forgetting the past, if a single language were to be used for communication.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn conclusion, although some may support the potential benefits such as a rise in tourism and economic growth, I strongly believe that the cultural loss and the risk of forgetting history cannot be ignored.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, the invention of a new language could have a variety of desirable effects.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and clear.
RevisedIn other words, a language that could be understood by all, might, in all probability, make the tourism industry thrive in our modern world.
The revised sentence is more formal and clear.
RevisedThis, in turn, highlights the possibility of future generations forgetting the past, if a single language were to be used for communication.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could help to illustrate the points more clearly.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedSome people hold the view that a new international language should be created for communication.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically correct.
RevisedWhile there are several positive impacts of this idea, I firmly believe that the disadvantages far outweigh the benefits.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
RevisedAs a result, in my view, the loss or change of a language is tantamount to the loss of culture.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically correct.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could help to illustrate the points more clearly.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe first advantage is that, by addressing the issue of language barriers, there could be a significant increase in the number of people favoring travel.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
RevisedSecondly, it is the language problem that weakens trade between nations.
The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically correct.
RevisedIn conclusion, although some may support the potential benefits such as a rise in tourism and economic growth, I strongly believe that the cultural loss and the risk of forgetting history cannot be ignored.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the potential benefits and drawbacks of creating a new international language. The writer presents a clear stance that the disadvantages of such a language may outweigh the benefits and supports this position with well-developed arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.
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