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A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #6, band 8.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

337 words. Marked by Axiom on 30 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2337 words

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

In an era characterized by cross-cultural misunderstandings and misinterpretations, many linguists call for the creation of a new language to facilitate international communication. While the invention of a universal language could indeed promote cultural exchange and global understanding, I believe that its potential drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

Proponents of a universal language cite various reasons to support their stance. If a dominant language is constructed for international use, it could effectively dismantle communication barriers among individuals from diverse cultural and national backgrounds, thereby allowing them to forge stronger social connections and business partnerships. In a world where religious intolerance, ethnic bias, and cultural discrimination reign supreme due to a lack of shared understanding, the introduction of a universal language could make a big difference when it comes to bringing everyone together and cultivating a more empathetic international community, ultimately leading to greater peace and harmony worldwide.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThis could encourage people from different nationalities to share their unique perspectives, thereby fostering mutual appreciation and cultural awareness.

    The revised sentence is more concise and the idea is expressed more clearly.

As a result, a linguistic gap may ensue, perpetuating existing inequalities and exacerbating feelings of disenfranchisement and marginalization.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedHowever, in my view, the disadvantages of establishing a global language outweigh these arguments.

    This revision makes the statement more concise and clear.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedMastering a new universal language would require a significant amount of time and effort, posing substantial challenges for individuals with busy schedules and limited access to educational resources.

    The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

  3. Lexical resource

    RevisedGiven that many already struggle to improve their proficiency in their native languages due to a lack of resources and time, the added pressure to learn a universal language could exacerbate challenges related to financial resources and time management.

    The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedIn conclusion, although the development of a new universal language could break down communication barriers and unite people from diverse backgrounds, I believe that the added pressure to learn such a language could further marginalize disadvantaged groups due to time and resource constraints.

    The revised sentence is more concise and the ideas are expressed more clearly.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedHowever, in my view, the disadvantages of establishing a global language outweigh these arguments.

    This revision makes the statement more concise and clear.

  • RevisedThis could encourage people from different nationalities to share their unique perspectives, thereby fostering mutual appreciation and cultural awareness.

    The revised sentence is more concise and the idea is expressed more clearly.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedThis may encourage people from different nationalities and cultures to share their unique perspectives, including their traditional values and local customs, which could foster mutual appreciation and cultural awareness.

    The revised sentence corrects the awkward use of 'which'.

  • RevisedIn conclusion, although the development of a new universal language could break down communication barriers and unite people from diverse backgrounds, I believe that the added pressure to learn such a language could further marginalize disadvantaged groups due to time and resource constraints.

    The revised sentence is more concise and the ideas are expressed more clearly.

Lexical resource

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedMastering a new universal language would require a significant amount of time and effort, posing substantial challenges for individuals with busy schedules and limited access to educational resources.

    The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

  • RevisedGiven that many already struggle to improve their proficiency in their native languages due to a lack of resources and time, the added pressure to learn a universal language could exacerbate challenges related to financial resources and time management.

    The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

Task response

Band 9.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task fully and presents a well-developed response. The writer's position is clear and supported by relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions

  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments.

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