Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #43, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
323 words. Marked by Axiom on 9 April 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2323 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can the issue be solved?
In recent years, the rising number of species and plants becoming extinct. However, this issue can be effectively mitigated through environmental protections and set strict laws and regulations.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis growing phenomenon can largely be attributed to factors such as deforestation and illegal hunting.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear attribution of the phenomenon.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedLogging is one of the primary contributors to this issue.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedA salient example of this is the deforestation of forests for agricultural purposes, construction, and industrial development.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis not only struggles animals due to the loss of natural habitats, but also leads to the destruction of plants and a resulting loss of biodiversity.
The revised sentence is more clear and grammatically accurate.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhen forests disappear, entire ecosystems are damaged, and many animals and plants become endangered or even extinct.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
Majority of animals hunted for their skin, horns, fur, and meat. This activity often done without control which leads to a rapid decrease in animal population. Some species are pushed to the brink of extinction as they are targeted for profit.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAnother major cause is the illegal and overhunting by poachers.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct explanation of the point being made.
Reforestation programs can also help restore damaged ecosystems and provide safe environments for plants and animals to grow again.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTo remedy this issue, strong environmental protection measures are necessary to avoid overexploitation of forests.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear explanation of the point being made.
Lexical resource
RevisedGovernments and organizations should work together to protect natural habitats by creating national parks and wildlife reserves.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the plural form.
On a broader scale, strict laws and regulations must be enforced to stop illegal hunting and land clearing. Public awareness campaigns play a pivotal role in educating people regarding the importance of protecting nature and. Once people begin to be environmentally conscious, they contribute to preserving biodiversity and mitigating the negative effects of climate change.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIndividuals who break these laws should face serious consequences, such as heavy fines and imprisonment.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the plural form.
To conclude, the decline of animals and plants is mainly caused by deforestation and illegal hunting. This challenge can be combated by adopting conservation policies and strict legal frameworks. If governments and individuals take action, it is still possible to preserve the natural world for future generations.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the main points well, but the connection between different ideas could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedLogging is one of the primary contributors to this issue.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
RevisedAnother major cause is the illegal and overhunting by poachers.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct explanation of the point being made.
RevisedTo remedy this issue, strong environmental protection measures are necessary to avoid overexploitation of forests.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear explanation of the point being made.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, including complex sentences and passive constructions. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and readability of the essay. For example, the phrase "Once people begin to be environmentally conscious, they contribute to preserving biodiversity and mitigating the negative effects of climate change" could be more clearly expressed as "When people become environmentally conscious, they can contribute to preserving biodiversity and mitigating the negative effects of climate change."
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis growing phenomenon can largely be attributed to factors such as deforestation and illegal hunting.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear attribution of the phenomenon.
RevisedWhen forests disappear, entire ecosystems are damaged, and many animals and plants become endangered or even extinct.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
RevisedIndividuals who break these laws should face serious consequences, such as heavy fines and imprisonment.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the plural form.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "deforestation," "illegal hunting," and "biodiversity loss." However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. For example, the phrase "salient example of this can be forests that cut down for many agriculture purposes, construction, and industrial development" is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedA salient example of this is the deforestation of forests for agricultural purposes, construction, and industrial development.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
RevisedThis not only struggles animals due to the loss of natural habitats, but also leads to the destruction of plants and a resulting loss of biodiversity.
The revised sentence is more clear and grammatically accurate.
RevisedGovernments and organizations should work together to protect natural habitats by creating national parks and wildlife reserves.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the plural form.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decline of animal and plant species and proposing solutions to mitigate the issue. The essay provides a clear explanation of the main causes, such as deforestation and illegal hunting, and suggests practical solutions, such as environmental protection measures and strict legal frameworks. The essay also provides a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of taking action to preserve the natural world for future generations.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion summarizes all the key points made in the essay.
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