Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #44, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

239 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 April 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2239 words

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can the issue be solved?

In many modern countries, a veriety of flora and fauna is declining. I think there are lots of causes, may be climate change, hunting, and other things. In my perspective, we find solves for this situation, banned hunters and create specia places such as zoo.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
Reviseda variety of flora and fauna is declining
There is a spelling error in the word 'variety'.
Lexical resource
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RevisedIn my opinion, we can find solutions to this situation, such as banning hunting and creating special areas like zoos.
The phrasing is awkward and there are some inaccuracies in word choice.

On the one hand, there are a lot of causes. Nowadays, many parts of the world, many people are hunting animals, it impacts for country developments. Some people cut the trees, because they build buildings such as offices, companies. Plants are play a crucial role in our life, because they can reduce air pollution. For example, people go to the picnic for resting, they try to hunting animals. It is a bad affect human life, because they are causing animals to become extinct.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedThere are several causes, on the one hand.
The sentence is a bit repetitive and can be made more concise.
Grammar & accuracy
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Revisedbecause they build structures such as offices and companies.
The sentence is incomplete and there is a repetition of the word 'build'.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedFor example, people go on picnics to relax and often end up hunting animals.
The sentence is grammatically incorrect and the ideas are not clearly connected.

On the other hand, government be careful animals and plants, because they are responsible employees. They can build house for animals, because animals be safe this place. The government should develop strict laws and fines someone cuts trees or kills animals. For instance, people always ignore for atmosphere, they throw away trash and bottles. As a result, air pollution increase significantly day by day. The government should install garbage bins in every area. In my point of view, people have to careful environment.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOn the other hand, the government should protect animals and plants, as they have a responsibility towards them.
The phrasing is awkward and the use of 'employees' is incorrect.

In conclusion, although people are hunting animals, cutting trees. They are huge impact their lifestyle. The government should create tax for people then always careful flora and fauna.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedIn conclusion, the hunting of animals and tree cutting have a significant impact on our environment and wildlife.
The sentence is grammatically incorrect and the idea is not clearly expressed.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe government should introduce taxes to encourage people to be more mindful of flora and fauna.
The sentence is grammatically incorrect and the idea is not clearly expressed.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can be unclear. More cohesive devices and clearer transitions would improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent and appropriate.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThere are several causes, on the one hand.
The sentence is a bit repetitive and can be made more concise.
RevisedOn the other hand, the government should protect animals and plants, as they have a responsibility towards them.
The phrasing is awkward and the use of 'employees' is incorrect.
RevisedIn conclusion, the hunting of animals and tree cutting have a significant impact on our environment and wildlife.
The sentence is grammatically incorrect and the idea is not clearly expressed.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. More attention to grammatical accuracy and proper punctuation would improve the overall quality of the essay.

Sentence revisions 3

Reviseda variety of flora and fauna is declining
There is a spelling error in the word 'variety'.
Revisedbecause they build structures such as offices and companies.
The sentence is incomplete and there is a repetition of the word 'build'.
RevisedFor example, people go on picnics to relax and often end up hunting animals.
The sentence is grammatically incorrect and the ideas are not clearly connected.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that can be distracting. Additionally, the use of synonyms is sometimes repetitive. More variety in vocabulary and a deeper understanding of word meanings and collocations would enhance the lexical resource of the essay.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn my opinion, we can find solutions to this situation, such as banning hunting and creating special areas like zoos.
The phrasing is awkward and there are some inaccuracies in word choice.
RevisedOn the other hand, the government should be careful to protect animals and plants, as they are responsible for their well-being.
The phrasing is awkward and the use of 'employees' is incorrect.
RevisedThe government should introduce taxes to encourage people to be more mindful of flora and fauna.
The sentence is grammatically incorrect and the idea is not clearly expressed.

Task response

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the response could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the response could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could also provide a more thorough analysis of the causes and effects of the decline in animal and plant species in modern countries. Additionally, the conclusion could be more substantial, summarizing the main points and reiterating the importance of the issue.

Suggestions

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
Develop your ideas more fully in the body paragraphs.

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