Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #49, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
285 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 June 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2285 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedNowadays, there is a noticeable decline in the number of animals and plants.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedI believe there are a number of reasons and solutions for this issue.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOne of the reasons for the decline in the number of animals and plants is hunting and habitat destruction, which makes them vulnerable to external predators and threats.
The sentence is revised to correct the spelling errors and improve the use of cohesive devices.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAs a result, it becomes harder for them to find nutritious food and accumulate fat, making them less durable.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and improve the sentence structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedWild animals, for example, the population of wolves and bears, experienced a moderate decrease due to hunting for their skin and teeth, which had a significant impact on their numbers.
The sentence is revised to correct the use of more precise vocabulary and improve the sentence structure.
Tulips, for instance, becoming less common to see in mountainous areas of Uzbekistan and have been anounced to be threatened plant. One of the reasons is that many vistors demaging their roots while taking it with them.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedEqually important is the decline in the number of plants in many parts of the countries, which affects the ecology and tourism industries by reducing the number of tourists and income of companies, as plants play a vital role economically, making a country more attractive and beautiful.
The sentence is revised to correct the spelling errors and improve the use of cohesive devices.
Manufacturing industries and hunters, for instance, must pay huge amount of money to compensate the damage to the wild file and plants, moreover, sit at least 30 days in the jail, making people consider about their actions and beaviors.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, I believe these problems can be avoided by implementing strict regulations and charges.
The sentence is revised to correct the use of cohesive devices and improve the sentence structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedAs a result, the number of people negatively affecting wildlife will be reduced and prevented.
The sentence is revised to correct the use of more precise vocabulary and improve the sentence structure.
In conclusion, I believe that such challenges preventable by imposing strict laws, making people reluctant to hunt animals and damage plants.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate the proposed solutions.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the reasons for the decline in the number of animals and plants is hunting and habitat destruction, which makes them vulnerable to external predators and threats.
The sentence is revised to correct the spelling errors and improve the use of cohesive devices.
RevisedEqually important is the decline in the number of plants in many parts of the countries, which affects the ecology and tourism industries by reducing the number of tourists and income of companies, as plants play a vital role economically, making a country more attractive and beautiful.
The sentence is revised to correct the spelling errors and improve the use of cohesive devices.
RevisedHowever, I believe these problems can be avoided by implementing strict regulations and charges.
The sentence is revised to correct the use of cohesive devices and improve the sentence structure.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are some grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes that can affect the clarity of the message. Proofreading to correct these errors is recommended. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to make the essay more engaging and dynamic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedNowadays, there is a noticeable decline in the number of animals and plants.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error.
RevisedI believe there are a number of reasons and solutions for this issue.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error.
RevisedAs a result, it becomes harder for them to find nutritious food and accumulate fat, making them less durable.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammatical error and improve the sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling that can be distracting. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedWild animals, for example, the population of wolves and bears, experienced a moderate decrease due to hunting for their skin and teeth, which had a significant impact on their numbers.
The sentence is revised to correct the use of more precise vocabulary and improve the sentence structure.
RevisedAs a result, the number of people negatively affecting wildlife will be reduced and prevented.
The sentence is revised to correct the use of more precise vocabulary and improve the sentence structure.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decline in the number of animals and plants and suggesting solutions. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Make the conclusion more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
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