Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #38, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
303 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 November 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2303 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved ?
Deforestation and urbanization can be taken as the main causes of this issue, while the government is able solve this problem through protecting natural habitats.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn many parts of the world, the number of animals and plants is being reduced.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the singular form 'is' and replaces it with the correct form 'is being' to indicate a ongoing action.
Deforestation and urbanization can be counted as the main causes. For example,
Lexical resource
RevisedThe decline in the number of animals and plants has many significant reasons.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward use of the word 'considerably' and replaces it with a more appropriate term.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of people in the world is increasing day by day at an astonishing rate, and the government is facing difficulties in creating enough living space for everyone.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward and incorrect phrasing, and provides a more clear and concise explanation of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedTo address this issue, many forests and islands have been converted into residential areas, leading to the cutting down of numerous trees.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and concise explanation of the idea, and corrects the awkward use of the term 'many plants especially trees'.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedEven some people have started living on islands; however, this has led to a shortage of space and food for the numerous animals that inhabit the forests, resulting in their decline.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct connection between the idea of people living on islands and the resulting decline in animal populations.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, protecting natural habitats could provide a solution to halt the decline in the number of animal and plant species.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear connection between the idea of protecting natural habitats and the solution to the decline in animal and plant species.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis could involve relocating animals to wildlife reserves or zoos before their natural habitats are destroyed.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and concise explanation of the idea, improving the flow of information.
Lexical resource
RevisedFurthermore, rare plants could be housed in national parks, which are areas specifically designed to preserve and protect rare and endangered species.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward and unclear phrasing, and provides a more accurate and concise explanation of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHowever, it is possible to save animals in these types of places, as they will be free from human distractions, which will help to reduce overhunting.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward and incorrect phrasing, and provides a more clear and concise explanation of the idea.
To conclude, there are a few main reasons why the number of animals and different types of plants are declining namely, deforestation and urbanization, while these issues can be addressed by protecting natural habitats and keeping animals and plants in the safe areas as national parks.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the main causes and solutions, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the other hand, protecting natural habitats could provide a solution to halt the decline in the number of animal and plant species.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear connection between the idea of protecting natural habitats and the solution to the decline in animal and plant species.
RevisedThis could involve relocating animals to wildlife reserves or zoos before their natural habitats are destroyed.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and concise explanation of the idea, improving the flow of information.
RevisedEven some people have started living on islands; however, this has led to a shortage of space and food for the numerous animals that inhabit the forests, resulting in their decline.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct connection between the idea of people living on islands and the resulting decline in animal populations.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with a good balance of simple and complex sentences. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise sentence structures could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn many parts of the world, the number of animals and plants is being reduced.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the singular form 'is' and replaces it with the correct form 'is being' to indicate a ongoing action.
RevisedThe number of people in the world is increasing day by day at an astonishing rate, and the government is facing difficulties in creating enough living space for everyone.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward and incorrect phrasing, and provides a more clear and concise explanation of the idea.
RevisedHowever, it is possible to save animals in these types of places, as they will be free from human distractions, which will help to reduce overhunting.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward and incorrect phrasing, and provides a more clear and concise explanation of the idea.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe decline in the number of animals and plants has many significant reasons.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward use of the word 'considerably' and replaces it with a more appropriate term.
RevisedTo address this issue, many forests and islands have been converted into residential areas, leading to the cutting down of numerous trees.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and concise explanation of the idea, and corrects the awkward use of the term 'many plants especially trees'.
RevisedFurthermore, rare plants could be housed in national parks, which are areas specifically designed to preserve and protect rare and endangered species.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward and unclear phrasing, and provides a more accurate and concise explanation of the idea.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decline in the number of animals and plants in many parts of the world and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear explanation of the main causes, such as deforestation and urbanization, and proposes protecting natural habitats as a solution. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points.
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