Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #39, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
283 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 January 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2283 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Today, the animals and plants are profound problems. This issue affects people's health and the environment. There are severe reasons. Many animals are losing their natural habitats. As a result, animals are declining, which affects the environment. In addition, environmental pollution such as air pollution, water pollution, and deforestation causes declining animal and plant populations. In my opinion, the government needs to limit poaching because many people often poach animals.On the other hand, the government and people must take responsibility. The societies enforce laws that help plants and animals. The government develops national parks and nature reserves. National parks and nature reserves help protect endangered animals. Responding to these issues helps to keep animals and plants because they are important in our lives. Declining plants are a crucial issue because plants are very important in the environment. These issues cause human health and other important things. The declining number of animals and plants is a global issue, and not only the government but also every individual is responsible for it. Projecting nature and preserving it for future generations is one of the most important tasks of today.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis issue is increasing on a daily basis in many societies.
The preposition 'in' is not appropriate in this context. It is better to use 'on a daily basis' to indicate the frequency of the issue.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, the declining number of animals and plants has an impact on human health and the environment, with causes such as deforestation and industrial development.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the decline in the number of animals and plants and its impact on human health and the environment.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, poaching is also a significant issue today.
The term 'developing' is not appropriate in this context. It is better to use 'is also a significant issue' to indicate that poaching is an important problem in addition to the others mentioned.
Lexical resource
RevisedSociety must take measures to protect animals and plants.
The term 'The society' is not typically used in this context. It is better to simply use 'society'.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAdditionally, if society as a whole takes immediate action, these problems can be easily solved.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and accurate phrasing.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn conclusion, the decline in the number of animals and plants is attributed to factors such as air pollution, climate change, and water pollution, which have a detrimental impact on the environment.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone, which is more suitable for an IELTS essay.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the importance of the issue.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all parts of your essay back to the main topic.
- Consider restating the main points in your conclusion to reinforce your message.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis issue is increasing on a daily basis in many societies.
The preposition 'in' is not appropriate in this context. It is better to use 'on a daily basis' to indicate the frequency of the issue.
RevisedOn the one hand, the declining number of animals and plants has an impact on human health and the environment, with causes such as deforestation and industrial development.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the decline in the number of animals and plants and its impact on human health and the environment.
RevisedHowever, poaching is also a significant issue today.
The term 'developing' is not appropriate in this context. It is better to use 'is also a significant issue' to indicate that poaching is an important problem in addition to the others mentioned.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some inaccuracies in the use of articles and prepositions. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, with few errors. However, there are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures, such as complex and compound sentences, could enhance the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis issue is increasing on a daily basis in many societies.
The preposition 'on' is needed before 'a daily basis' to indicate frequency.
RevisedSociety must protect animals and plants.
The article 'the' is not needed in this context.
RevisedAdditionally, if society as a whole takes immediate action, these problems can be easily solved.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and accurate phrasing.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary related to the environment and conservation could enhance the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis issue is rapidly escalating in many societies.
The term 'increasing' is a bit informal in this context. It is better to use 'escalating' to convey a more precise meaning.
RevisedSociety must take measures to protect animals and plants.
The term 'The society' is not typically used in this context. It is better to simply use 'society'.
RevisedIn conclusion, the decline in the number of animals and plants is attributed to factors such as air pollution, climate change, and water pollution, which have a detrimental impact on the environment.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone, which is more suitable for an IELTS essay.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decline in the number of animals and plants in many countries and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be further improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Include specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.
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