Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #37, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

301 words. Marked by Axiom on 11 November 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2301 words

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved ?

In many parts of the world, the number of animals and plants are is reducing. Deforestation and urbanization can be taken as the main causes of this issue, while government is able to solve this problem through protecting natural habits.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn many parts of the world, the number of animals and plants is reducing.
The subject 'number' is singular and requires the singular verb 'is'.

Reducing number of animals and various types of plants has a few considerable reasons. Deforestation and urbanization can be counted as the main contributors. For example, day-by-day the number of people in the world is increasing at astonish rate and government is facing a difficulty in terms of finding enough space for their lives Because of that people are cutting off trees and trying to make a place for living. Even many big forests and islands have been changed to residential areas. As a result, many animals are dying because of not having a space for living and the shortage of food, while are many plants especially trees are reducing due to air pollution and distraction by transports used for building houses.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThere are several significant reasons for the decline in the number of animals and plants.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct, and it uses a more appropriate cohesive device to introduce the reasons that will be discussed.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedFor example, the world's population is increasing day by day at an astonishing rate, and governments are struggling to find enough space for their citizens to live. As a result, people are cutting down trees to make way for new homes.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and improves the clarity and naturalness of the text.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedEven many large forests and islands have been converted into residential areas.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and improves the clarity and naturalness of the text.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThis is resulting in many animals dying due to a lack of living space and food, while many plants, especially trees, are declining due to air pollution and the disruption caused by transportation used for construction.
The revised sentence is more natural and collocates appropriately.

On the other hand, through protecting natural habitats it is possible to stop decline in the number of animals and plants. For instance, instead of destroying islands or forests, firstly it is better to bring animals to wildlife reserves and zoo for keeping them; however, national parks can be used for keeping various types of plants and this kind of parks mostly used for keeping rare flowers and rare plants which are declining. Moreover, animals can be also kept in national parks too, keeping animals in this kind of parks is an access to stop over hunting and there will be less human disturbance.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedConversely, the decline in the number of animals and plants can be halted by protecting natural habitats.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct, and it uses a more appropriate cohesive device to introduce the solution to the problem.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedFurthermore, national parks can also serve as sanctuaries for animals, providing a refuge from overhunting and human disturbance.
The revised sentence is more natural and collocates appropriately.

To conclude, deforestation and urbanization are still the main factors of this issue, it could be solved by stopping these harmful movements and using national parks for the purpose of keeping both animals and plants.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn conclusion, the main factors contributing to this issue are deforestation and urbanization. However, these can be mitigated by stopping these harmful practices and utilizing national parks for the conservation of both animals and plants.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and concise summary of the main points and solutions discussed in the essay.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and solutions.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThere are several significant reasons for the decline in the number of animals and plants.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct, and it uses a more appropriate cohesive device to introduce the reasons that will be discussed.
RevisedConversely, the decline in the number of animals and plants can be halted by protecting natural habitats.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct, and it uses a more appropriate cohesive device to introduce the solution to the problem.
RevisedIn conclusion, the main factors contributing to this issue are deforestation and urbanization. However, these can be mitigated by stopping these harmful practices and utilizing national parks for the conservation of both animals and plants.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and concise summary of the main points and solutions discussed in the essay.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall readability and interest of the text. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn many parts of the world, the number of animals and plants is reducing.
The subject 'number' is singular and requires the singular verb 'is'.
RevisedFor example, the world's population is increasing day by day at an astonishing rate, and governments are struggling to find enough space for their citizens to live. As a result, people are cutting down trees to make way for new homes.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and improves the clarity and naturalness of the text.
RevisedEven many large forests and islands have been converted into residential areas.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and improves the clarity and naturalness of the text.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the environment and conservation. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe decline in the number of animals and diverse types of plants can be attributed to several significant reasons.
The revised sentence is more natural and collocates appropriately.
RevisedThis is resulting in many animals dying due to a lack of living space and food, while many plants, especially trees, are declining due to air pollution and the disruption caused by transportation used for construction.
The revised sentence is more natural and collocates appropriately.
RevisedFurthermore, national parks can also serve as sanctuaries for animals, providing a refuge from overhunting and human disturbance.
The revised sentence is more natural and collocates appropriately.

Task response

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decline in the number of animals and plants in many parts of the world and proposing solutions to this issue. The writer presents a clear explanation of the main causes, such as deforestation and urbanization, and also suggests potential solutions, such as protecting natural habitats and using national parks for conservation. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the potential challenges and benefits of these solutions.

Suggestions

Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with relevant examples.

Check your own essay on this question

Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 2 checker works.

Check an essay free