Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #48, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
225 words. Marked by Axiom on 23 May 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2225 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
In recent times, it has become increasingly uncommon for individuals to see plants and animals, especially in forests or other ecosystems.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhile there are clear reasons for this issue, I believe that it can be effectively addressed by governments.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct statement of the writer's opinion.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThere are several reasons for the decrease in flora and fauna.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe growing global population has led to an increased demand for housing, which in turn has contributed to the deforestation of many green areas.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct explanation of the relationship between population growth and deforestation.
Lexical resource
RevisedGiven these circumstances, it is not surprising that the decline in animal and plant populations is a result of their inability to thrive in these increasingly desolate areas.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct explanation of the relationship between habitat loss and decline in animal and plant populations.
This can be achieved by co-operating with local university professors and students majoring in ecology to identify such areas.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, there are several effective strategies to address this problem.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFrom a governmental perspective, it is essential to establish green areas that are legally protected.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction of the original sentence.
Lexical resource
RevisedThese measures would provide animals and plants with a safe and secure environment, allowing them to survive and reproduce without the threat posed by humans.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct explanation of the impact of human interference on wildlife.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWithout these interventions, the decline in biodiversity would continue to worsen, leading to disruptions in the ecological cycle.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the term "disturbance of ecological cycle" in the original sentence.
To achieve this, governments should collaborate with experts to yield better results.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while human development continues to encroach upon wildlife areas to provide housing for an increasing population, this issue can be mitigated by implementing restrictions on human activities in certain areas to protect biodiversity.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone and clarifies the point being made.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there could be better use of linking words to connect ideas and sentences more effectively.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas and sentences more effectively.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThere are several reasons for the decrease in flora and fauna.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedOn the other hand, there are several effective strategies to address this problem.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedIn conclusion, while human development continues to encroach upon wildlife areas to provide housing for an increasing population, this issue can be mitigated by implementing restrictions on human activities in certain areas to protect biodiversity.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone and clarifies the point being made.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedWhile there are clear reasons for this issue, I believe that it can be effectively addressed by governments.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct statement of the writer's opinion.
RevisedFrom a governmental perspective, it is essential to establish green areas that are legally protected.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction of the original sentence.
RevisedWithout these interventions, the decline in biodiversity would continue to worsen, leading to disruptions in the ecological cycle.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the term "disturbance of ecological cycle" in the original sentence.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe growing global population has led to an increased demand for housing, which in turn has contributed to the deforestation of many green areas.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct explanation of the relationship between population growth and deforestation.
RevisedGiven these circumstances, it is not surprising that the decline in animal and plant populations is a result of their inability to thrive in these increasingly desolate areas.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct explanation of the relationship between habitat loss and decline in animal and plant populations.
RevisedThese measures would provide animals and plants with a safe and secure environment, allowing them to survive and reproduce without the threat posed by humans.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct explanation of the impact of human interference on wildlife.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The writer's position is supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could provide a more detailed explanation of how the proposed solutions could be implemented. Additionally, the essay could provide a more detailed explanation of how the proposed solutions could be implemented.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed explanation of how the proposed solutions could be implemented.
- Include specific examples to support the argument.
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