Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #52, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
342 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 August 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2342 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening ? How can this issue be solved?
It is observed that, in recent years, there has been a significant decline in the number of animal and plant species in many parts of the world. This is mainly because of various human activities and climatic changes, followed by natural disasters out of a sudden.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedI believe this problem can be addressed through effective regulations and the implementation of defense systems.
The revised sentence corrects the verb choice for a more formal tone.
However, a few really comprehend that the utilization of land in this way leads to the loss of natural habitat. Trees are cut down and replaced with residential complexes, animals are displaced as a result of new tourist attractions.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNotably, a trend in many countries is to construct a high number of skyscrapers, aiming for a modern appearance and to attract tourists.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more concise expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedNew recreational facilities, such as amusement parks, shopping malls, and restaurants, as well as increasingly luxurious resorts in mountainous areas, are being constructed, all for the comfort of humans.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling errors and provides a more natural phrasing.
Lexical resource
RevisedA definite solution would be to implement environmental legislation concerning land use by humans.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and formal phrasing.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIf the government prohibits construction in areas rich in flora and fauna, the decline in their populations could potentially stop.
The revised sentence corrects the word choice and provides a more natural phrasing.
Frequent floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, and these sorts of inevitable disasters make it extremely challenging for species to survive. If durable dikes or dams are built to stop floods, thereby preventing the destruction of natural habitats, the reduction in both animal and plant species may stop.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedRapid climate change is another significant factor in the extinction of numerous species.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct statement of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor instance, animals struggle to find food when vegetation is significantly destroyed.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and provides a more natural expression.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn my opinion, there is an urgent need to raise funds and build resilient defense systems across the habitat.
The revised sentence corrects the word form and provides a more natural phrasing.
In conclusion, I believe that humans are the primary reason why the vast majority of plants and animals become extinct, and the government should lessen the amount of construction work being done by humans. Furthermore, the need for strong defensive systems against natural catastrophes should not be overlooked either, to provide other creatures with a safe environment to live in.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedNotably, a trend in many countries is to construct a high number of skyscrapers, aiming for a modern appearance and to attract tourists.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more concise expression of the idea.
RevisedRapid climate change is another significant factor in the extinction of numerous species.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct statement of the idea.
RevisedIn conclusion, I am of the belief that human activities are the primary cause of the majority of plant and animal extinctions, and it is imperative for the government to reduce construction work that affects wildlife.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone, which is more suitable for an IELTS essay.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. For example, in the sentence "If government prohibits the construction work in places with lots of floura and founa," the correct spelling is "flora and fauna." Paying attention to such minor errors can help to improve the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedI believe this problem can be addressed through effective regulations and the implementation of defense systems.
The revised sentence corrects the verb choice for a more formal tone.
RevisedIf the government prohibits construction in areas rich in flora and fauna, the decline in their populations could potentially stop.
The revised sentence corrects the word choice and provides a more natural phrasing.
RevisedFor instance, animals struggle to find food when vegetation is significantly destroyed.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and provides a more natural expression.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary could help to convey the arguments more effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedNew recreational facilities, such as amusement parks, shopping malls, and restaurants, as well as increasingly luxurious resorts in mountainous areas, are being constructed, all for the comfort of humans.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling errors and provides a more natural phrasing.
RevisedA definite solution would be to implement environmental legislation concerning land use by humans.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and formal phrasing.
RevisedIn my opinion, there is an urgent need to raise funds and build resilient defense systems across the habitat.
The revised sentence corrects the word form and provides a more natural phrasing.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decline in animal and plant species and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear explanation of the human activities and climatic changes that contribute to this decline and proposes practical solutions, such as environmental legislation and defense systems. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed in the essay.
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