Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #18, band 6.5

There is a growing trend where many countries wittnes a high rate of decresion of plants and animals. While this can be largely attributed to hunting and also to lack of water, I believe that the problem can be effectively addresed by stoping of wasting water and by limiting killings which mades by hunters.

Money can be a root factor contributing to killing animals, especially in financially-deprived countries. With financial constaints, more peoply choose illegal way of earning money, by selling the valueble parts of rare animals like talons, skins and also use them in a way of food. A perfect case inpoint would be whales, where people hunt on them because of their fat which used to produce fuel. Some individuals try to kill them then devide the whales fat to sell it for high price. As such, it is

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedA perfect case in point would be whales, which are hunted for their fat that is used to produce fuel.

   The phrase 'in point' is the correct term, not 'inpoint'.

financial shortcomings that leave some poor people to commit it. Moreover, there is another global problem which related to plants. The main reason of reducing greenery is demand for water. This is exemplified by wasting drinking water which causes to extinction of herbage. Therefore, flora and fauna are the key

of every beutifull country.

The keys to reversing natural degradation are conservation and restoration efforts. Biodeversity conservation

should focus on preserving specific plants. For instance, reforstation can prevent us from extinction of trees and animals which live in forests. Initially, the goverment should be more strict with hunting, fishing and cutting trees, this actions could be very hurmfull for our ecossytem. Also one way of helping to our enviroment is to plant 10 trees instead of 1 cutted. This method can provide us from fully disapered forests. However, we have another problem in face of water. With starting of economing water we can spend water in dry places to revive the nature in those places.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAnother way to help our environment is by planting 10 trees for every one that is cut down.

   The sentence should be rephrased to improve clarity and ensure proper grammar usage.

In conclusion, i want to say that people have a key role in the live of nature. We live in this places and we are responsible for them. If we see any problem with our envirement, we should immediately take action.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, I would like to reiterate the crucial role that people play in the preservation of nature.

   The sentence should be rephrased to improve clarity and ensure proper grammar usage.