Age and job applicants: IELTS Task 2 essay #8, band 8.0

There is a view that making it illegal for companies to reject job applicants on the basis of age is a misguided policy that may interfere with hiring decisions. I believe this is a positive development for several reasons.

One reason behind the importance of such laws lies in their ability to promote fairness in the recruitment process. That is, when employers are prevented from making decisions based solely on age, candidates are more likely to be evaluated according to their skills, experience, and overall suitability for the role. This ensures that individuals are not unfairly excluded from opportunities due to factors beyond their control. Otherwise, if age-based discrimination were allowed, many capable applicants would be overlooked despite being fully qualified. Consider, for example, an experienced professional applying for a managerial position. If their application is judged on merit rather than age, the company may benefit from their expertise and practical knowledge, which could otherwise have been ignored. This exemplifies that such legislation helps create a more balanced and merit-based hiring environment.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedThese laws are important because they promote fairness in the recruitment process.

   The revised sentence is more direct and clear.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThis demonstrates that such legislation can help foster a balanced and merit-based hiring environment.

   The revised sentence uses more precise and effective vocabulary.

Moreover, preventing age discrimination allows companies to benefit from a more diverse workforce, which can enhance overall performance. When employees of different age groups work together, they tend to bring varied perspectives, experiences, and approaches to problem-solving. Younger workers may contribute fresh ideas and adaptability, while older employees often offer stability and well-developed professional judgment. If companies were allowed to reject candidates based on age, they would risk losing this valuable combination. A case in point is a team working on a long-term project, where both innovation and experience are required. By including individuals from different age groups, the team is more likely to approach challenges from multiple angles and reach well-rounded decisions. Consequently, such policies not only protect individuals but also contribute to more effective and dynamic workplaces.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAdditionally, preventing age discrimination can help companies benefit from a more diverse workforce, which can enhance overall performance.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between preventing age discrimination and the benefit of a diverse workforce.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThis is particularly relevant for teams working on long-term projects, where a balance of innovation and experience is crucial.

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3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIncluding individuals from different age groups can enable the team to approach challenges from multiple angles and reach well-rounded decisions.

   The revised sentence is more concise and clear.

In conclusion, I believe that making age-based rejection illegal is a positive development, as it promotes fairness in hiring and encourages a more diverse and capable workforce, both of which are essential in today’s professional environment.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, age-based rejection should remain illegal, as this promotes fairness in hiring and encourages a more diverse and capable workforce, which is essential in today’s professional environment.

   The revised sentence is more concise and direct.