Age and job applicants: IELTS Task 2 essay #6, band 8.0

Denying people’s resumes based on their age is a disadvantageous practice, as I firmly believe it disrespects personal rights and discourages both experienced and motivated young job applicants.

Age discrimination goes against basic human rights. Every job seeker has the right to be treated equally and fairly during the process of having their CVs reviewed. If older people, for example, are turned down for a certain position solely based on their age, it may lead to some psychological effects such as stress or even depression. This is because individuals around the world, especially those in their 40s or 50s, carry the responsibility of supporting their families financially. Receiving rejection e-mails simply because of their age places immense pressure on them, both mentally and economically.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedThis is often the case for individuals in their 40s or 50s who bear the responsibility of supporting their families financially.

   The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more precise information.

Furthermore, offering jobs to only experienced employees is not beneficial either since younger generation is also highly motivated when entering the job market. For example, HR managers today often deny Gen-Z applicants because of the misconception that youngsters have weaker soft skills such as communication, problem-solving and negotiation – all of which are the side effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. However, most young individuals are open-minded, innovative and technologically skilled, making them excellent candidates for large companies working on efficiency and productivity. Such age limitations demotivate these passionate individuals who are always eager to learn and grow professionally.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedMoreover, the young individuals, who are often seen as open-minded, innovative, and technologically skilled, can also be excellent candidates for companies focused on efficiency and productivity.

   The revised sentence provides a more seamless transition and better connects the idea to the previous one.

Some people may argue that ageism in the workplace can be useful to prioritize more loyal and trained workers. They believe that investing in training, mentorship and professional development for younger employees is more beneficial as they are likely to stay with the company long-term. But I think people of all ages can enhance their skills if given the opportunity, without any barriers to personal and professional growth.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedSome people may argue that prioritizing ageism in the workplace can be beneficial to prioritize more loyal and trained workers.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the statement.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThey believe that prioritizing training, mentorship and professional development for younger employees is more beneficial

   The revised sentence uses a more appropriate verb, 'prioritizing', in this context.

In conclusion, judging potential professionals based on age is an undesirable development. Regardless of their age, individuals deserve the chance to land a job.