Passenger travel by transport type: IELTS Task 1 answer #2, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
234 words. Marked by Axiom on 21 September 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| 1990 | 2000 | |
|---|---|---|
| Bicycle | 3 | 1 |
| Motorbike | 4 | 2 |
| Air | 1 | 4 |
| Bus | 40 | 42 |
| Rail | 35 | 37 |
| Total | 100 | 110 |
Academic Task 1234 words
The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe chart illustrates the total distance traveled by individuals using five different modes of transportation over a decade, starting from 1990, measured in billions of kilometers.
This revision uses more precise vocabulary and improves clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, bus and rail travel accounted for the largest portion of the total distance, while the other three modes showed relatively lower figures in both years.
This revision makes the sentence more concise and easier to understand.
Lexical resource
RevisedFirstly, the total distance traveled increased over the decade, starting at nearly 110 billion kilometers in 1990 and reaching 120 billion kilometers by 2000.
This revision avoids repetition and improves the flow of the sentence.
In 1990, passengers travelled almost 45 billion kilometers on bus, after which this number increased by almost 2 billion.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFocusing on bus and rail travel, these modes contributed significantly more to the overall distance.
This revision improves clarity and coherence.
Lexical resource
RevisedMeanwhile, rail transport facilitated travel of approximately 40 billion kilometers in 1990, increasing to 47 billion kilometers in 2000.
This revision uses more appropriate vocabulary and makes the sentence clearer.
People who employed bicycle travelled almost 10 billion kilometers in each year shown, while the figures for motorbike showed meagerly higher numbers – about 12 billion and 11 billion in 1990 and 2000, respectively. As for air transportation mode, it accounted for the lowest volume in the chart, with just under 10 billion in 1990, increasing by approximately 2 billion after a decade.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn terms of lower figures, bicycle, motorbike, and air travel contributed less to the total distance.
This revision enhances the readability and coherence of the sentence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized with a clear structure. However, some sentences could be more concise and better linked to enhance the overall flow.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, bus and rail travel accounted for the largest portion of the total distance, while the other three modes showed relatively lower figures in both years.
This revision makes the sentence more concise and easier to understand.
RevisedFocusing on bus and rail travel, these modes contributed significantly more to the overall distance.
This revision improves clarity and coherence.
RevisedIn terms of lower figures, bicycle, motorbike, and air travel contributed less to the total distance.
This revision enhances the readability and coherence of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors and awkward constructions.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, bus and rail travel accounted for the largest portion of the total distance, while the other three modes showed relatively lower figures in both years.
This revision corrects the awkward construction and improves readability.
RevisedFocusing on bus and rail travel, these modes contributed significantly more to the overall distance.
This revision corrects the awkward phrasing and improves clarity.
RevisedIn terms of lower figures, bicycle, motorbike, and air travel contributed less to the total distance.
This revision corrects the awkward construction and improves readability.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary. However, some word choices are repetitive, and there are occasional inaccuracies.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe chart illustrates the total distance traveled by individuals using five different modes of transportation over a decade, starting from 1990, measured in billions of kilometers.
This revision uses more precise vocabulary and improves clarity.
RevisedFirstly, the total distance traveled increased over the decade, starting at nearly 110 billion kilometers in 1990 and reaching 120 billion kilometers by 2000.
This revision avoids repetition and improves the flow of the sentence.
RevisedMeanwhile, rail transport facilitated travel of approximately 40 billion kilometers in 1990, increasing to 47 billion kilometers in 2000.
This revision uses more appropriate vocabulary and makes the sentence clearer.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, summarizing the main features and making relevant comparisons. However, some details could be more clearly explained.
Suggestions
- Ensure all key features of the chart are clearly explained and compared.
- Provide more specific details where relevant to support the main points.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free