Passenger travel by transport type: IELTS Task 1 answer #3, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

194 words. Marked by Axiom on 23 September 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The bar chart this answer describes

Values in distance travelled, units not stated. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Passenger travel by transport type (IELTS Task 1 bar chart) (distance travelled, units not stated)
	1990	2000
Bicycle	3	1
Motorbike	4	2
Air	1	4
Bus	40	42
Rail	35	37
Total	100	110

Academic Task 1194 words

The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000.

The bar chart illustrates how many kilometers British people travelled by five modes of transportation in 1990 and 200.

Overall, the total amount of distance covered by the UK commuters increased over a decade because of the growth in air, bus, and rail travel, while the reverse was true for bicycles and motorbikes. It is also noticeable that the most preferred types of transportation were bus and rail in both years.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, the total distance covered by UK commuters increased over the decade, primarily due to growth in air, bus, and rail travel, while the distance covered by bicycles and motorbikes decreased.
This revision improves clarity and conciseness.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedAdditionally, bus and rail remained the most preferred modes of transportation in both years.
This revision enhances clarity and reduces redundancy.

Looking at the most popular modes of transport, people travelled almost the same distance using bus and rail, at around 40 billion kilometers, and after a decade, these figures grew to just under 50 billion kilometers, which was the highest figure in the whole graph for transports. Furthermore, these two modes of transport accounted for the most amount of travel made by the British commuters, with the total coverage comprising around 110 billion kilometers in 1990 and approximately 120 billion kilometers in 2000.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedLooking at the most popular modes of transport, people traveled almost the same distance using buses and trains, at around 40 billion kilometers each. After a decade, these figures grew to just under 50 billion kilometers, which was the highest in the graph.
This revision corrects minor grammatical errors and improves clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedFurthermore, these two modes of transport represented the highest travel distances by British commuters, totaling around 110 billion kilometers in 1990 and approximately 120 billion kilometers in 2000.
This revision reduces redundancy and enhances lexical variety.

Regarding the remaining categories, bicycles, motorbikes, and air were used less, with only air transportation experiencing a small rise in the period shown. These types of transport all constituted about 10 billion kilometers of coverage, varying slightly throughout the period.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn contrast, bicycles and motorbikes were used less, while air travel experienced a slight increase over the period.
This revision improves the logical flow and clarity of the sentence.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThese modes of transport collectively accounted for about 10 billion kilometers of travel, with slight variations over the period.
This revision improves lexical variety and clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents an overall summary of the data. However, there are some issues with the logical flow and organization of ideas.

Suggestions

Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Avoid redundancy in the description of data.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, the total distance covered by UK commuters increased over the decade, primarily due to growth in air, bus, and rail travel, while the distance covered by bicycles and motorbikes decreased.
This revision improves clarity and conciseness.
RevisedAdditionally, bus and rail remained the most preferred modes of transportation in both years.
This revision enhances clarity and reduces redundancy.
RevisedIn contrast, bicycles and motorbikes were used less, while air travel experienced a slight increase over the period.
This revision improves the logical flow and clarity of the sentence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedLooking at the most popular modes of transport, people traveled almost the same distance using buses and trains, at around 40 billion kilometers each. After a decade, these figures grew to just under 50 billion kilometers, which was the highest in the graph.
This revision corrects minor grammatical errors and improves clarity.
RevisedIt is also noticeable that the most preferred types of transportation were buses and trains in both years.
This revision corrects the plural forms for consistency.
RevisedRegarding the remaining categories, bicycles and motorbikes were used less, with only air transportation experiencing a small rise during the period shown.
This revision improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some repetitions and minor inaccuracies.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe bar chart illustrates the total distance, in kilometers, traveled by British people using five modes of transportation in 1990 and 2000.
This revision adds specificity and avoids repetition.
RevisedThese modes of transport collectively accounted for about 10 billion kilometers of travel, with slight variations over the period.
This revision improves lexical variety and clarity.
RevisedFurthermore, these two modes of transport represented the highest travel distances by British commuters, totaling around 110 billion kilometers in 1990 and approximately 120 billion kilometers in 2000.
This revision reduces redundancy and enhances lexical variety.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay adequately addresses the task, summarizing the main features and making comparisons where relevant. However, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis and clarity.

Suggestions

Provide more detailed comparisons between the different modes of transportation.
Highlight key trends more explicitly.

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