Passenger travel by transport type: IELTS Task 1 answer #4, band 7.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

231 words. Marked by Axiom on 4 October 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The bar chart this answer describes

Values in distance travelled, units not stated. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Passenger travel by transport type (IELTS Task 1 bar chart) (distance travelled, units not stated)
	1990	2000
Bicycle	3	1
Motorbike	4	2
Air	1	4
Bus	40	42
Rail	35	37
Total	100	110

Academic Task 1231 words

The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph illustrates the overall traveled distance of UK people who used five means of transportation- bicycle, motorbike, airplanes, bus and railway- across the years 1990 and 2000.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedThe bar graph illustrates the total distance traveled by UK residents using five modes of transportation—bicycle, motorbike, airplane, bus, and railway—between 1990 and 2000.
Corrected minor grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.

Overall, despite marginal declines in the distance traveled by bicycles and motorbikes, the total covered distance by all remaining transports increased over the period, albeit with a slight difference. It is also worth noting that bus and railway were the primary transportations that people used in both years, while the remaining means were almost at the same level.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, despite marginal declines in distances traveled by bicycles and motorbikes, the distances covered by other modes increased slightly.
Simplified and clarified the sentence for better coherence.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedNotably, buses and railways were the primary modes of transportation, while other modes remained relatively stable.
Improved clarity and cohesion by simplifying the sentence.

Bicycles and motorbikes, the modes of transport which saw a reduced use among UK passengers, followed a slight declining trend. Both modes started at about 5 billion kilometers (bl km), and experienced a slight 1 bl km decline over the period, which had a minimal impact on the overall growth in the distance traveled by modes.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedBicycles and motorbikes experienced a slight decline in usage among UK passengers.
Removed redundancy and improved sentence clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedBoth modes started at about 5 billion kilometers and experienced a slight decline of 1 billion km over the period, minimally impacting the overall distance growth.
Simplified and corrected minor grammatical issues.

Regarding the total distance that passengers in the UK traveled, it grew from about 110 bl km to nearly 120 bl km from 1990 to 2000. To break it down, the largest part of distance was covered by bus and rail, each accounting for about 45 bl km of the overall distance, which had increased by more or less 5 bl km by 2000. Travels on air followed distinctly behind, constituting about 5 bl km in 1990, a figure that rose slightly by 2 bl km in 2000.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe total distance traveled by UK passengers increased from approximately 110 billion km to nearly 120 billion km between 1990 and 2000.
Enhanced precision and variety in vocabulary.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedBreaking it down, the largest distances were covered by bus and rail, each accounting for about 45 billion km, increasing by approximately 5 billion km by 2000.
Improved grammatical accuracy and clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression. However, some comparisons could be more explicitly linked to enhance cohesion.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to connect ideas.
Clarify the comparison between different transport modes.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, despite marginal declines in distances traveled by bicycles and motorbikes, the distances covered by other modes increased slightly.
Simplified and clarified the sentence for better coherence.
RevisedNotably, buses and railways were the primary modes of transportation, while other modes remained relatively stable.
Improved clarity and cohesion by simplifying the sentence.
RevisedBicycles and motorbikes experienced a slight decline in usage among UK passengers.
Removed redundancy and improved sentence clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe bar graph illustrates the total distance traveled by UK residents using five modes of transportation—bicycle, motorbike, airplane, bus, and railway—between 1990 and 2000.
Corrected minor grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedBoth modes started at about 5 billion kilometers and experienced a slight decline of 1 billion km over the period, minimally impacting the overall distance growth.
Simplified and corrected minor grammatical issues.
RevisedBreaking it down, the largest distances were covered by bus and rail, each accounting for about 45 billion km, increasing by approximately 5 billion km by 2000.
Improved grammatical accuracy and clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to transportation and distance. However, some expressions are repetitive.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, despite slight declines in distances traveled by bicycles and motorbikes, the total distance covered by other transport modes increased marginally.
Varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
RevisedNotably, buses and railways were the primary modes of transportation, while other modes remained relatively stable.
Improved lexical variety by using different expressions.
RevisedThe total distance traveled by UK passengers increased from approximately 110 billion km to nearly 120 billion km between 1990 and 2000.
Enhanced precision and variety in vocabulary.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay effectively summarizes the main features and makes relevant comparisons. It accurately reflects the data from the chart.

Suggestions

Ensure all key data points are covered.
Enhance the clarity of comparisons between transport modes.

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