Passenger travel by transport type: IELTS Task 1 answer #10, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
171 words. Marked by Axiom on 2 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| 1990 | 2000 | |
|---|---|---|
| Bicycle | 3 | 1 |
| Motorbike | 4 | 2 |
| Air | 1 | 4 |
| Bus | 40 | 42 |
| Rail | 35 | 37 |
| Total | 100 | 110 |
Academic Task 1171 words
The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000.
The bar chart compares the number of kilometers, measured in billions, travelled by using five different modes of transportation in the UK in 1990 and 2000.
In 2000, they accounted for a little less than 50 billion each, up from their respective figures of approximately 46 and 45 billion a decade ago.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBuses, rail, and air were the most popular types of transportation in both years, with similar figures for buses and rail.
This revision provides a clearer and more concise description of the data, and corrects the spelling of 'buses'.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe total distance increased from nearly 105 to 112 billion between the years.
The use of 'also' is unnecessary in this sentence, and the sentence can be made more concise.
In contrast, the remainder modes of transportation –bikes, motorcycle, and air –never reached above the 10 billion mark. By 2000, however, while the figures for bicycle and motorbike saw a slight decline, that for air rose only marginally.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe three modes of transportation had relatively similar numbers in 1990, making up around 8 billion of the total.
The phrase 'both three' is unclear. The revision provides a more accurate description of the data.
Overall, with the highest number of kilometers covered in both years, busses and rail saw an increasing trend, while the three other types remained less popular among the UK travelers.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The writer uses appropriate cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe bar chart compares the distance, in billions of kilometers, traveled using five different modes of transportation in the UK in 1990 and 2000.
The use of the dollar sign at the beginning of the sentence is incorrect. Also, the sentence can be made more concise and clear.
RevisedBuses, rail, and air were the most popular types of transportation in both years, with similar figures for buses and rail.
This revision provides a clearer and more concise description of the data, and corrects the spelling of 'buses'.
RevisedThe total distance increased from nearly 105 to 112 billion between the years.
The use of 'also' is unnecessary in this sentence, and the sentence can be made more concise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors.
Sentence revisions 1
RevisedBuses and rail were by far the most popular types of transportation in both years, with similar figures.
The use of 'by far the most' is incorrect in this context. A more appropriate phrasing would be 'were by far the most popular'.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The writer uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedBuses and rail were by far the most popular types of transportation in both years, with similar figures.
The phrase 'by far the most popular' is more commonly used to indicate a clear favorite, rather than a general popularity. The revision provides a more accurate description of the data.
RevisedThe three modes of transportation had relatively similar numbers in 1990, making up around 8 billion of the total.
The phrase 'both three' is unclear. The revision provides a more accurate description of the data.
RevisedOverall, buses and rail, which covered the highest number of kilometers in both years, saw an increasing trend.
The revision provides a more accurate and clear description of the data.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes appropriate comparisons where necessary. The key features are identified and supported with relevant data. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis and explanation.
Suggestions
- Try to provide a more detailed analysis and explanation of the data. This could involve discussing the reasons for the popularity of certain modes of transportation, or the implications of the data.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free