Passenger travel by transport type: IELTS Task 1 answer #11, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
232 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| 1990 | 2000 | |
|---|---|---|
| Bicycle | 3 | 1 |
| Motorbike | 4 | 2 |
| Air | 1 | 4 |
| Bus | 40 | 42 |
| Rail | 35 | 37 |
| Total | 100 | 110 |
Academic Task 1232 words
The chart shows the total distance traveled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000.
, measured in billions (bn), travelled by passengers using five modes of transport in the UK in two separate years (1990 and 2000), along with the total kilometers travelled.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe bar graph illustrates the number of kilometers...
'Illustrates' is a more precise term for describing graphs.
Overall, the changes in the distance travelled by all types of transport were minimal, resulting in a slight increase in the total distance covered.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIncreases were seen in air, bus, and rail; conversely, bicycle and motorbike witnessed a decline.
Using 'conversely' provides a clearer contrast.
Lexical resource
RevisedDespite these shifts, bus and rail remained the predominant modes of transport in the UK.
'Predominant' is a more precise term than 'most common'.
By 2000, both had dropped to approximately 5 bn kilometers.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedExamining the details, the distances covered by bike, motorbike, and air were significantly lower compared to bus and rail.
Clarifies the comparison by specifying the other modes.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 1990, bicycles covered about 6 bn kilometers, whereas motorbikes covered slightly more, at roughly 7 bn kilometers.
Clarifies the comparison by removing ambiguity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedConversely, air travel exhibited an upward trend, increasing from around 4 bn kilometers to approximately 7 bn kilometers.
'Conversely' is more appropriate for contrasting trends.
Bus and rail, in stark contrast, showed far greater numbers. The former covered around 47 bn kilometers, a figure that then saw an increase of just 1 bn kilometers.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe latter ended at the same figure, although it started at 45 bn kilometers, which was slightly lower.
Improves clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedConsequently, these changes led to an increase in the total distance covered from about 110 bn kilometers to 115 bn kilometers.
Using 'consequently' improves the logical flow.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
- Clarify comparisons between transport modes.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIncreases were seen in air, bus, and rail; conversely, bicycle and motorbike witnessed a decline.
Using 'conversely' provides a clearer contrast.
RevisedExamining the details, the distances covered by bike, motorbike, and air were significantly lower compared to bus and rail.
Clarifies the comparison by specifying the other modes.
RevisedConsequently, these changes led to an increase in the total distance covered from about 110 bn kilometers to 115 bn kilometers.
Using 'consequently' improves the logical flow.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 1990, bicycles covered about 6 bn kilometers, whereas motorbikes covered slightly more, at roughly 7 bn kilometers.
Clarifies the comparison by removing ambiguity.
RevisedThe latter ended at the same figure, although it started at 45 bn kilometers, which was slightly lower.
Improves clarity and grammatical accuracy.
RevisedConversely, air travel exhibited an upward trend, increasing from around 4 bn kilometers to approximately 7 bn kilometers.
'Conversely' is more appropriate for contrasting trends.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, though there is room for more variety and precision.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe bar graph illustrates the number of kilometers...
'Illustrates' is a more precise term for describing graphs.
RevisedDespite these shifts, bus and rail remained the predominant modes of transport in the UK.
'Predominant' is a more precise term than 'most common'.
RevisedUpon closer examination, the distances traveled by bike, motorbike, and air were substantially lower...
'Upon closer examination' is a more formal phrase for introducing details.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, summarizing the main features and making appropriate comparisons.
Suggestions
- Ensure all key data points are included.
- Highlight significant trends more explicitly.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free