Passenger travel by transport type: IELTS Task 1 answer #9, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
236 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| 1990 | 2000 | |
|---|---|---|
| Bicycle | 3 | 1 |
| Motorbike | 4 | 2 |
| Air | 1 | 4 |
| Bus | 40 | 42 |
| Rail | 35 | 37 |
| Total | 100 | 110 |
Academic Task 1236 words
The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares five different modes of transportation in terms of the total distance travelled by passengers in the UK, from 1990 to 2000.
Lexical resource
RevisedMeasured in billions of passenger kilometers.
The original statement incorrectly describes the measurement.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the chart shows an upward trend for air, bus, and rail travel, while a decline is observed for motorbike and bicycle usage.
The revised sentence provides a more concise summary of the trends.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBus and rail were the dominant modes of transport during this period.
The revision removes unnecessary words for clarity.
Starting with the increasing trends, the bus transported around 45 billion people in 1990, slightly more than that for rail, at around 43 billion people. After 10 years, the number of passengers in bus increased by a mere 1 billion, whereas the figures for the latter one rose by approximately 3 billion people. Meanwhile, the figures for air were at the point of around 5 billion people in 1990, before soaring to around 7 billion people in 2000.
Turning to the decreasing patterns, bicycle and motorbike were the only types of transportation that declined over the period.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedStarting at about 6 billion, bicycle travel decreased by 1 billion passenger kilometers.
Clarifies the unit of measurement and improves sentence clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of motorbike passengers saw a slight decrease from about 8 billion to 6 billion.
Simplifies the sentence structure and corrects the subject.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAdditionally, the total usage of these transport modes increased gradually from approximately 105 billion to 110 billion.
The revision uses 'additionally' to better connect the idea to the previous content.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with a clear structure, making it easy to follow. Transitions between the different modes of transportation are generally smooth.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid abrupt shifts in focus.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the chart shows an upward trend for air, bus, and rail travel, while a decline is observed for motorbike and bicycle usage.
The revised sentence provides a more concise summary of the trends.
RevisedBus and rail were the dominant modes of transport during this period.
The revision removes unnecessary words for clarity.
RevisedAdditionally, the total usage of these transport modes increased gradually from approximately 105 billion to 110 billion.
The revision uses 'additionally' to better connect the idea to the previous content.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of grammatical structures accurately with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAfter 10 years, the number of passengers using buses increased by just 1 billion.
Corrects the preposition and clarifies the subject.
RevisedThe number of motorbike passengers saw a slight decrease from about 8 billion to 6 billion.
Simplifies the sentence structure and corrects the subject.
RevisedStarting at about 6 billion, bicycle travel decreased by 1 billion passenger kilometers.
Clarifies the unit of measurement and improves sentence clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some variety in word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedMeasured in billions of passenger kilometers.
The original statement incorrectly describes the measurement.
RevisedThe bus accounted for around 45 billion passenger kilometers in 1990.
Clarifies the unit of measurement.
RevisedMeanwhile, air travel accounted for approximately 5 billion passenger kilometers in 1990.
Clarifies the unit of measurement and improves word choice.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task well, summarizing the main trends and making relevant comparisons.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data is accurately represented.
- Include more specific data points for clarity.
- Avoid misinterpretation of the chart's data.
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