Passenger travel by transport type: IELTS Task 1 answer #8, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
242 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| 1990 | 2000 | |
|---|---|---|
| Bicycle | 3 | 1 |
| Motorbike | 4 | 2 |
| Air | 1 | 4 |
| Bus | 40 | 42 |
| Rail | 35 | 37 |
| Total | 100 | 110 |
Academic Task 1242 words
The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares five different modes of transportation in terms of the total distance travelled by passengers in the UK, from 1990 to 2000.
Lexical resource
RevisedMeasured in billions of kilometers traveled.
Corrected the measurement unit to match the chart.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the chart shows an upward trajectory for air, bus, and rail, while motorbike and bicycle saw a decline in passenger numbers.
Improved clarity by simplifying sentence structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNotably, bus and rail were the most dominant modes of transport over the period.
Clarified and strengthened the statement.
Starting with the increasing trends, the bus transported around 45 billion people in 1990, slightly more than that for rail, at around 43 billion people. After 10 years, the number of passengers in bus increased by a mere 1 billion, whereas the figures for the latter one rose by approximately 3 billion people.
Lexical resource
RevisedMeanwhile, the distance travelled by air increased from around 5 billion kilometers in 1990 to approximately 7 billion kilometers in 2000.
Clarified the metric and improved sentence structure.
Turning to the decreasing patterns, bicycle and motorbike were the only types of transportation that declined over the period.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedStarting at about 6 billion kilometers, the distance travelled by bicycle then decreased by 1 billion kilometers.
Corrected the metric and improved clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe distance travelled by motorbike decreased slightly from about 8 billion to 6 billion kilometers.
Simplified and clarified the sentence structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAdditionally, the total distance travelled by all modes increased gradually from about 105 billion to 110 billion kilometers.
Clarified the metric being discussed.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe essay was written in 11 minutes with 236 words.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized, but some comparisons could be clearer. Transitions between ideas are mostly smooth, but there is room for improvement.
Suggestions
- Use more cohesive devices to link ideas.
- Ensure all comparisons are clearly stated.
- Avoid abrupt shifts between topics.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the chart shows an upward trajectory for air, bus, and rail, while motorbike and bicycle saw a decline in passenger numbers.
Improved clarity by simplifying sentence structure.
RevisedNotably, bus and rail were the most dominant modes of transport over the period.
Clarified and strengthened the statement.
RevisedAdditionally, the total distance travelled by all modes increased gradually from about 105 billion to 110 billion kilometers.
Clarified the metric being discussed.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors. Some sentences could be more concise.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedStarting at about 6 billion kilometers, the distance travelled by bicycle then decreased by 1 billion kilometers.
Corrected the metric and improved clarity.
RevisedThe distance travelled by motorbike decreased slightly from about 8 billion to 6 billion kilometers.
Simplified and clarified the sentence structure.
RevisedThe essay was written in 11 minutes with 236 words.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary with some precision. However, there are repetitions and some awkward phrasing.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedMeasured in billions of kilometers traveled.
Corrected the measurement unit to match the chart.
RevisedAfter 10 years, the distance travelled by bus passengers increased by just 1 billion kilometers.
Clarified the metric and improved precision.
RevisedMeanwhile, the distance travelled by air increased from around 5 billion kilometers in 1990 to approximately 7 billion kilometers in 2000.
Clarified the metric and improved sentence structure.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but lacks some detailed comparisons and accurate data representation.
Suggestions
- Ensure accurate representation of data from the chart.
- Include more specific comparisons between transport modes.
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