Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #20, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
247 words. Marked by Axiom on 6 March 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1247 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 nd 2009.
The line graph compares the number of visitors (in millions) by purpose across the globe who came to the UK between 1989 and 2009. Overall, the total number of tourists showed an upward trend, with holidays being the main reason, whereas visitors whose primary reason was to visit friends and relatives accounted for relatively lower numbers.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedDespite a pronounced growth for over 15 years, visiting the UK to see friends or relatives remained the least popular purpose. However, this category did experience a steady increase until 2004.
Adding a linking sentence improves the flow between ideas.
In 1989,
Lexical resource
RevisedHolidays accounted for the largest proportion of visitors throughout the period.
This revision uses more formal and precise vocabulary.
Lexical resource
Reviseda total of 6.5 million tourists came to the UK for holidays, followed by a slight increase to 6.8 million in 1994.
'Slight increase' is a more natural collocation than 'marginal rise.'
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIt then peaked in 1999 at 9.7 million, before dropping to 7.4 million in 2004.
Combining sentences avoids sentence fragments and improves cohesion.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBy 2009, the number had grown notably from 7.4 to 9 million, representing a substantial increase from its initial level of 6.5 million.
This revision improves clarity and grammatical accuracy.
From this year onwards, this figure underwent fluctuations ranging from 4 to 8 million, ending the period with 7 million.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBusiness was the purpose for 5.4 million tourists in 1989.
This revision clarifies the sentence structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedAfter a significant increase, the number of business visitors surpassed those visiting friends and relatives, and the gap with holiday-makers narrowed.
This revision avoids informal language and clarifies the comparison.
In 2009, this figure declined abruptly to 6.2 million.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTurning to visitors whose main intention was to meet friends and family, their numbers started at 3.7 million in 1989 and grew steadily.
Completing the sentence improves coherence and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 1989, this group accounted for only 3.7 million visitors. Their numbers grew steadily, reaching the same level as business visitors in 2004 (6.7 million).
Breaking up the sentence and clarifying the comparison improves accuracy.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized, with clear paragraphs and effective use of linking words. There is a clear overview and appropriate sequencing of information. However, some sentences are long and could be broken up for clarity. Transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Break up long sentences for better readability.
- Use more varied linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedDespite a pronounced growth for over 15 years, visiting the UK to see friends or relatives remained the least popular purpose. However, this category did experience a steady increase until 2004.
Adding a linking sentence improves the flow between ideas.
RevisedIt then peaked in 1999 at 9.7 million, before dropping to 7.4 million in 2004.
Combining sentences avoids sentence fragments and improves cohesion.
RevisedTurning to visitors whose main intention was to meet friends and family, their numbers started at 3.7 million in 1989 and grew steadily.
Completing the sentence improves coherence and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures and generally accurate grammar. There are some minor errors and awkward constructions, but meaning is always clear.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedBusiness was the purpose for 5.4 million tourists in 1989.
This revision clarifies the sentence structure.
RevisedBy 2009, the number had grown notably from 7.4 to 9 million, representing a substantial increase from its initial level of 6.5 million.
This revision improves clarity and grammatical accuracy.
RevisedIn 1989, this group accounted for only 3.7 million visitors. Their numbers grew steadily, reaching the same level as business visitors in 2004 (6.7 million).
Breaking up the sentence and clarifying the comparison improves accuracy.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied, with some effective use of less common expressions (e.g., 'lion's share', 'skyrocketed'). However, there are occasional awkward phrases and repetition.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedHolidays accounted for the largest proportion of visitors throughout the period.
This revision uses more formal and precise vocabulary.
RevisedAfter a significant increase, the number of business visitors surpassed those visiting friends and relatives, and the gap with holiday-makers narrowed.
This revision avoids informal language and clarifies the comparison.
Reviseda total of 6.5 million tourists came to the UK for holidays, followed by a slight increase to 6.8 million in 1994.
'Slight increase' is a more natural collocation than 'marginal rise.'
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay provides a clear overview and covers all main trends and comparisons shown in the graph. Data is generally accurate, though some details could be more precise. The response is well-developed and relevant to the task.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately reflected from the graph.
- Include more specific data for each category where possible.
- Summarize overall trends more succinctly in the overview.
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