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Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #11, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

193 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Overseas visitors to the UK (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Holiday, Business, Visit to friends or relatives for 1989, 1994, 1999, 2004, 2009, in millions of visitors. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.024681019891994199920042009
Overseas visitors to the UK (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Holiday, Business, Visit to friends or relatives for 1989, 1994, 1999, 2004, 2009, in millions of visitors. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.024681019891994199920042009
Values in millions of visitors. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Overseas visitors to the UK (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (millions of visitors)
HolidayBusinessVisit to friends or relatives
19896.55.53.5
19947.7554.25
1999975.75
20047.577
200996.56

Academic Task 1193 words

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.

The line graph gives data on the quantity of people who came to United Kingdom from overseas for various reasons over the period from 1989 to 2009.

Moreover, holidays stood out among other reasons with slightly higher figures despite a decline during the given period.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, the number of overseas visitors to the UK increased for holidays, business, and visiting friends or relatives, although the degree of increase varied.

    Clarified the sentence for better understanding and flow.

To begin with, 2.8 millions visiting UK to meet friends and relatives increased slightly to 4 millions after experiencing gradual growth to 7 millions of visitors.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe number of visitors for meeting friends and relatives decreased slightly to 6 million from 2004 to 2009.

    Improved clarity and consistency in numerical description.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedIn the initial year, the number of business visitors decreased marginally from 6 to 4 million by 1993.

    Corrected grammatical errors and improved clarity.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedAfter five years, these figures grew by 4 million and fluctuated, reaching 7.5 million visitors by the final year.

    Corrected awkward phrasing and improved precision.

In contrast, holidays had higher numbers compared to the others with 6.3 millions before decreasing noticeably to 7.8 millions in 2004.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe number of holiday visitors saw significant growth, ending at 8 million in 2009.

    Clarified the trend and improved sentence structure.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order, but there are some inconsistencies in the description of trends and figures.

Suggestions

  • Ensure consistency in describing trends.
  • Use linking words to enhance flow.
  • Clarify comparisons and contrasts.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, the number of overseas visitors to the UK increased for holidays, business, and visiting friends or relatives, although the degree of increase varied.

    Clarified the sentence for better understanding and flow.

  • RevisedThe number of visitors for meeting friends and relatives decreased slightly to 6 million from 2004 to 2009.

    Improved clarity and consistency in numerical description.

  • RevisedThe number of holiday visitors saw significant growth, ending at 8 million in 2009.

    Clarified the trend and improved sentence structure.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, visits to the UK for holidays, business, and visiting friends or relatives increased to varying extents.

    Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.

  • RevisedThe number of visitors for meeting friends and relatives decreased slightly to 6 million from 2004 to 2009.

    Corrected grammatical errors related to plural forms.

  • RevisedIn the initial year, the number of business visitors decreased marginally from 6 to 4 million by 1993.

    Corrected grammatical errors and improved clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are awkward or imprecise.

Sentence revisions 4

  • RevisedOverall, visits to the UK for holidays, business, and visiting friends or relatives increased to varying extents.

    Improved word choice and clarity.

  • RevisedThe number of visitors for meeting friends and relatives decreased slightly to 6 million from 2004 to 2009.

    Used more precise vocabulary.

  • RevisedThe number of holiday visitors experienced significant growth, reaching 8 million in 2009.

    Improved vocabulary and clarity.

  • RevisedAfter five years, these figures grew by 4 million and fluctuated, reaching 7.5 million visitors by the final year.

    Corrected awkward phrasing and improved precision.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and describes the graph, but some details are inaccurately reported.

Suggestions

  • Ensure accurate reporting of data.
  • Include more specific data points for clarity.

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