Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #10, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
257 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1257 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
The line graph shows changes in the number of international visitors who came to the United Kingdom for various reasons from 1989 to 2009.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, although there were fluctuations, all three purposes showed an upward trend. Holidays remained the most common reason for visits, whereas visiting friends or relatives was the least common.
The sentence was broken down into simpler parts to improve clarity.
In 1989, over six million people travelled to this country on holiday—a figure that markedly rose to a high of 9.5 million in 1999.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHolidays were the primary reason for overseas visits to the UK.
Rephrased for better flow and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFrom 1999 to 2004, the number dropped to around 7.5 million, then nearly returned to its 1999 level, maintaining its position as the top reason for visits to the UK.
Simplified the sentence for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
This figure sharply decreased to 4 million in 1994, before its growth steepened until about 2007, at which point it reached its all-time high of 8 million visits—nearly converging with visits for holiday.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBusiness travel was the second most common reason in 1989, with over 5 million visits.
Rephrased for grammatical accuracy and conciseness.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBy the end of the period, however, there was a decline to approximately 7 million business visits, yet it retained its leading position.
Improved sentence structure for better grammatical accuracy.
Over the ensuing fifteen years, the number steadily grew to 7 million in 2004, but it was followed by a noticeable decrease, closing the period at 6 million and being the least popular reason for coming to the UK.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedVisiting friends and relatives followed a steady upward trend without significant fluctuations.
Clarified the sentence to better convey the trend observed in the graph.
Lexical resource
RevisedRanking last, the number of visits to friends or relatives began at just under 4 million in 1989.
Simplified the sentence structure and varied vocabulary.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with clear progression and logical structure. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Avoid abrupt transitions between data points.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, although there were fluctuations, all three purposes showed an upward trend. Holidays remained the most common reason for visits, whereas visiting friends or relatives was the least common.
The sentence was broken down into simpler parts to improve clarity.
RevisedHolidays were the primary reason for overseas visits to the UK.
Rephrased for better flow and clarity.
RevisedVisiting friends and relatives followed a steady upward trend without significant fluctuations.
Clarified the sentence to better convey the trend observed in the graph.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedFrom 1999 to 2004, the number dropped to around 7.5 million, then nearly returned to its 1999 level, maintaining its position as the top reason for visits to the UK.
Simplified the sentence for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
RevisedBusiness travel was the second most common reason in 1989, with over 5 million visits.
Rephrased for grammatical accuracy and conciseness.
RevisedBy the end of the period, however, there was a decline to approximately 7 million business visits, yet it retained its leading position.
Improved sentence structure for better grammatical accuracy.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, but some repetition is present.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe main reason for international visits to the UK was holidays.
Replaced 'primary' with 'main' to avoid repetition.
RevisedThis number fell sharply to 4 million in 1994, then increased significantly until 2007, reaching a peak of 8 million visits.
Used synonyms to vary vocabulary and improve readability.
RevisedRanking last, the number of visits to friends or relatives began at just under 4 million in 1989.
Simplified the sentence structure and varied vocabulary.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and detailed information.
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