Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #17, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
194 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 September 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1194 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
The line graph illustrates how many foreign visitors going to the UK for different purposes, namely business, holiday, and meeting with friends and relatives from 1989 to 2009. Furthermore, holiday was the highest target among others.
Lexical resource
RevisedOverall, the number of visitors saw an upward trend, albeit to varying extents.
Employing different expressions like 'saw an upward trend' enhances lexical resource.
Focusing on the most significant changes first,
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAfter a period of stability, with about 6.5 million visitors between 1989 and 1992, their numbers fluctuated considerably, with figures ranging between 6.5 million and 9 million.
Improves sentence structure and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe figure then recovered steadily, reaching a peak of approximately 9 million by 2009.
Correction of capitalization and infinitive phrasing.
Despite a brief decline to 4 million in 1992, down from the initial 5 million in 1989, the number of people who had business purposes rose gradually to 8 million in 2009, but then saw a decrease to 7 million in the same year. A similar scenario is observed in the figure for meeting friends and relatives, with numbers growing from 3.5 million in 1989 to 7 million, followed by a decline to around 6 million in the final year.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn contrast, the remaining two purposes, business and meeting friends and relatives, exhibited less dramatic changes compared to holidays.
Clarifying the two purposes mentioned helps maintain cohesion.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good level of cohesion and coherence. Ideas are generally well-organized, and there are clear comparisons and connections between data points. However, some sentences appear disconnected or lack transitional phrases, which can slightly hinder readability.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance the flow.
- Make sure each paragraph clearly relates to the one before and after it.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn contrast, the remaining two purposes, business and meeting friends and relatives, exhibited less dramatic changes compared to holidays.
Clarifying the two purposes mentioned helps maintain cohesion.
RevisedDespite a brief decline to 4 million in 1992, down from the initial 5 million in 1989, the number of people traveling for business purposes rose gradually to 8 million by 2009.
Incorporating more transition connectors can improve cohesion.
RevisedSimilarly, the number of visitors meeting friends and relatives grew from 3.5 million in 1989 to 7 million before declining to around 6 million in the final year.
The use of 'similarly' helps maintain a smooth flow between ideas.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay generally maintains good grammatical range and accuracy, but there are moments where sentence structures are incorrect or awkward.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAfter a period of stability, with about 6.5 million visitors between 1989 and 1992, their numbers fluctuated considerably, with figures ranging between 6.5 million and 9 million.
Improves sentence structure and clarity.
RevisedThe figure then recovered steadily, reaching a peak of approximately 9 million by 2009.
Correction of capitalization and infinitive phrasing.
Revisedthe number of people with all three purposes experienced an upward trend
Correct grammar while remaining concise.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay utilizes a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the task. Some phrases are well-chosen for the context, and synonyms of 'visitors' add variety.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedThe line graph depicts the number of overseas visitors traveling to the UK for various reasons.
Using 'depicts' and 'reasons' adds variety to lexis.
RevisedOverall, the number of visitors saw an upward trend, albeit to varying extents.
Employing different expressions like 'saw an upward trend' enhances lexical resource.
RevisedA comparable trend is noticeable for those visiting friends and relatives.
Synonym usage ('comparable trend') strengthens vocabulary variety.
Revisedfluctuated significantly,
The term 'significantly' is more precise in academic writing.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay adequately covers the main trends of the data and provides insights into each purpose of travel. However, slight inaccuracies in data description are present.
Suggestions
- Ensure all details from the graph are accurately represented in the text.
- Include more specific data points to enhance clarity.
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