Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #23, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
211 words. Marked by Axiom on 31 July 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1211 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of immigrants to the UK for three different purposes over a period of twenty years, commencing in 1989.
Overall, it is evident that the number of foreign visitors to the UK increased for all given purposes, but to varying degrees. Notably, holiday recorded the highest figures for most of the period, whereas meeting friends and relatives consistently exhibited the lowest figures.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFirstly, both business and meeting friends & relatives purposes exhibited similar trends over the period.
This revision clarifies the sentence and improves the transition.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of business visitors started at 5 million in 1989, declined sharply to 4 million, and then rose sharply to 8 million.
This revision improves clarity and avoids awkward phrasing.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedSubsequently, the number declined moderately, finishing at 7 million in 2009.
This avoids personification of data and uses more precise language.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of visitors meeting friends and relatives began at around 3.5 million, increased significantly to a peak of 7 million, and then declined to 6 million by 2009.
This revision improves tense consistency and sentence structure.
The figure levelled off at this rate, before surging to its maximum point (9 million).
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn contrast, the number of visitors for holidays started at 6.5 million, significantly higher than the other categories.
This provides a clearer comparison and smoother transition.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAfterwards, the number decreased to its initial level by 2004, before rising again to its peak by 2009.
This revision clarifies the sequence of events and improves grammatical accuracy.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized, with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. There is a clear overview and the main features are grouped appropriately. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, and there is occasional repetition in sentence structure.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of linking words to improve flow.
- Avoid repetitive sentence openings.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedFirstly, both business and meeting friends & relatives purposes exhibited similar trends over the period.
This revision clarifies the sentence and improves the transition.
RevisedIn contrast, the number of visitors for holidays started at 6.5 million, significantly higher than the other categories.
This provides a clearer comparison and smoother transition.
RevisedSubsequently, the number declined moderately, finishing at 7 million in 2009.
This avoids personification of data and uses more precise language.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with generally accurate usage. There are occasional errors in sentence structure and tense consistency, but these do not impede understanding.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe number of business visitors started at 5 million in 1989, declined sharply to 4 million, and then rose sharply to 8 million.
This revision improves clarity and avoids awkward phrasing.
RevisedThe number of visitors meeting friends and relatives began at around 3.5 million, increased significantly to a peak of 7 million, and then declined to 6 million by 2009.
This revision improves tense consistency and sentence structure.
RevisedAfterwards, the number decreased to its initial level by 2004, before rising again to its peak by 2009.
This revision clarifies the sequence of events and improves grammatical accuracy.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied, with some effective use of descriptive language. However, there are a few inaccuracies and awkward phrases, such as 'skyrocketing' and 'witnessed a considerable drop.'
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedrose sharply to 8 million
This is a more formal and appropriate expression for an academic report.
Revisedthe figure declined considerably
Avoids anthropomorphizing data and uses more precise language.
Revisedthe number remained stable for a period before increasing to its peak
This uses more academic and precise vocabulary.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay provides a clear overview and describes the main trends and comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data description (e.g., the business line does not 'skyrocket' to 8 million, and the decline is not as sharp as described). The essay could be improved by more precise data reporting and avoiding overgeneralization.
Suggestions
- Double-check the data for accuracy when describing trends.
- Use precise language to describe changes in the graph.
- Include more specific data points to support comparisons.
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