Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #22, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
228 words. Marked by Axiom on 14 March 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1228 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009
The line graph provides information about the number of foreign visitors who traveled the UK for three different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
Overall, the number of visitors increases for all three purposes, but holiday visitors experienced the most significant growth. Moreover, the number of individuals visiting for business and for meeting friends and relatives fluctuated before declining at the end of the period.
Starting with 6.5 million visitors at the beginning of the period,
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFirstly, the number of people who visited the UK for holidays was the highest among the three purposes.
Clarifies the sentence and improves logical flow.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe figure then increased sharply to 9 million in 1994. However, the number of visitors declined considerably to 6.5 million between 1999 and 2004.
Corrects punctuation and clarifies the time period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, the number began to rise steadily again, reaching approximately 9 million in 2009.
Improves clarity and cohesion.
After peaking at 8 million in 2004, the number declined significantly to 7 million in 2009.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTurning to business and visits for meeting friends and relatives,
Provides a smoother transition between sections.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBusiness visitors started at 5 million in 1989, followed by a slight decline to around 4 million. The number then rose to approximately 4.7 million in 1994 and 6.3 million in 1999.
Breaks up a run-on sentence and clarifies the sequence of events.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAs for meeting friends and relatives, this figure began at 3.5 million, then showed a consistent increase, reaching approximately 7 million in 2004 before declining to 6 million at the end of the period.
Corrects sentence structure and improves clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents information in a clear sequence. However, there are some issues with paragraphing, linking phrases, and the overall flow, which can make the essay slightly difficult to follow at times.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas and sentences.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and logical progression.
- Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedFirstly, the number of people who visited the UK for holidays was the highest among the three purposes.
Clarifies the sentence and improves logical flow.
RevisedTurning to business and visits for meeting friends and relatives,
Provides a smoother transition between sections.
RevisedHowever, the number began to rise steadily again, reaching approximately 9 million in 2009.
Improves clarity and cohesion.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure. Some sentences are run-on or fragmented, which affects clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe figure then increased sharply to 9 million in 1994. However, the number of visitors declined considerably to 6.5 million between 1999 and 2004.
Corrects punctuation and clarifies the time period.
RevisedBusiness visitors started at 5 million in 1989, followed by a slight decline to around 4 million. The number then rose to approximately 4.7 million in 1994 and 6.3 million in 1999.
Breaks up a run-on sentence and clarifies the sequence of events.
RevisedAs for meeting friends and relatives, this figure began at 3.5 million, then showed a consistent increase, reaching approximately 7 million in 2004 before declining to 6 million at the end of the period.
Corrects sentence structure and improves clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some awkward word choices and repetition. Some terms are used inaccurately, and there is limited use of more sophisticated vocabulary.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedFocusing first on the increase,
Corrects the awkward phrase and improves clarity.
Revisedthe highest number among the three purposes.
'Proportion' is inaccurate here; 'number' is more appropriate.
RevisedThis figure began at the lowest point, 3.5 million,
Corrects subject-verb agreement and uses more precise language.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The response addresses the main trends and comparisons in the graph, but some details are inaccurate or unclear. The essay does not always accurately reflect the data, and there are some misinterpretations.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately described and compared.
- Avoid using terms like 'proportion' when referring to absolute numbers.
- Summarize the main trends more clearly in the overview.
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