Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #14, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
208 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 September 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1208 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about the number of people, visiting the UK for business, holiday, meeting with friends and relatives from 1989 to 2009.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe units are measured in millions of individuals.
Corrected grammatical usage for accuracy.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the chart shows an upward trend for business and meetings with friends and relatives, while holiday visits fluctuated and eventually exceeded the other two by the end of the period.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
In 1989 the number of tourists who went to the UK accounted for 5 million, and in 1992 it fell to 4 million, matching the figure for those visiting friends and relatives.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHoliday visits fluctuated between 6.5 and 9 million from 1989 to 2004, eventually growing to 9 million by the end of the period.
Reduced sentence complexity for better readability.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedVisitors meeting friends and relatives numbered 3.5 million until matching business visits. Both categories increased from 1992 to 2008 before decreasing. By the end, business visitors reached 7 million, and visits to friends and relatives were at 6 million.
Separated intricate sentences to enhance clarity and coherence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay generally follows a logical structure, but some sentences are lengthy and convoluted, affecting cohesion. There's a need for clearer sequencing of information.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to connect ideas more clearly.
- Avoid overly long sentences for clearer coherence.
- Separate complex sentence structures into simpler ones for better understanding.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the chart shows an upward trend for business and meetings with friends and relatives, while holiday visits fluctuated and eventually exceeded the other two by the end of the period.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedHoliday visits fluctuated between 6.5 and 9 million from 1989 to 2004, eventually growing to 9 million by the end of the period.
Reduced sentence complexity for better readability.
RevisedVisitors meeting friends and relatives numbered 3.5 million until matching business visits. Both categories increased from 1992 to 2008 before decreasing. By the end, business visitors reached 7 million, and visits to friends and relatives were at 6 million.
Separated intricate sentences to enhance clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures but contains frequent grammatical errors, which affect clarity and precision.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe units are measured in millions of individuals.
Corrected prepositional error.
Revisedwhile visits to friends and relatives were 6 million.
Corrected grammatical structure for clarity.
RevisedThe number of visitors meeting friends and relatives was 3.5 million until it matched business visits
Corrected subject-verb agreement and word choice errors.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are noticeable spelling errors and repetition that detract from the lexical range.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedThe units are measured in millions of individuals.
Corrected grammatical usage for accuracy.
Revisedthe figure for holiday fluctuated and then exceeded
Corrected spelling mistake for 'fluctuated'.
Revisedincreased to 9 by the end of the period
Used more appropriate and varied vocabulary to reduce repetition and enhance clarity.
Revisedfigures dropped
Paraphrased for conciseness and varied vocabulary.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task, summarizing and highlighting main trends and making some comparisons. However, inaccuracies remain unaddressed, and some data points are misrepresented.
Suggestions
- Ensure data is accurately reflected from the graph.
- Focus on clear, relevant comparisons and trends.
- Support statements with precise figures from the graph.
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