Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #13, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
189 words. Marked by Axiom on 31 August 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1189 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
Moreover the figures for business and meeting friend and relatives saw noticeable and gradual growth over the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the number of people visiting the UK for holidays was the highest in most years, despite some fluctuations.
Clarified the subject and improved sentence structure.
Regarding to the higher figures first, the number people visited oversea during their holiday was around 6.5 million in 1989, after which it rose significantly to 9 million in 1994, but then declined considerably to its initial numbers about 6.5 million,
Lexical resource
Revisedfollowed by an increase to 9 million in the final year.
Corrected spelling and added an article for grammatical accuracy.
On the other hand, figures for business dropped slightly from 5 million in 1989 to 4 million in 1994, followed by gradual increase between 1994 and 2004, reaching 8 million, but thet went down markedly to 7 million in 2009. The same scenario can be seen in the number people went to overseas because of meeting and relatives witnessed a stable rose from 3.5 million to 7 million between 1989 and 2004 and then dropped to 6 million in 2009.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay presents information in a logical order, but lacks clear paragraphing and some transitions.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphing to separate different points.
- Add more linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the number of people visiting the UK for holidays was the highest in most years, despite some fluctuations.
Clarified the subject and improved sentence structure.
RevisedFirstly, the number of people visiting the UK for holidays was around 6.5 million in 1989.
Improved clarity and sentence structure.
RevisedConversely, the number of visitors for business purposes dropped slightly from 5 million in 1989 to 4 million in 1994.
Used a more appropriate transition and clarified the subject.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks complex sentence structures.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedMoreover, the figures for business and visiting friends and relatives showed noticeable and gradual growth over the period.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedSimilarly, the number of people visiting for meeting friends and relatives rose steadily from 3.5 million to 7 million between 1989 and 2004.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitive phrases.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedAdditionally, the figures for business and visiting friends and relatives showed noticeable and gradual growth over the period.
Improved word choice and corrected grammatical errors.
RevisedFirstly, the number of people visiting the UK for holidays was around 6.5 million in 1989.
Corrected prepositional error and improved clarity.
RevisedSimilarly, the number of people visiting for meeting friends and relatives rose steadily from 3.5 million to 7 million between 1989 and 2004.
Improved vocabulary and sentence structure.
Revisedfollowed by an increase to 9 million in the final year.
Corrected spelling and added an article for grammatical accuracy.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and some data is inaccurately reported.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed analysis of trends.
- Ensure accuracy in reporting data.
- Include more comparisons where relevant.
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