Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #12, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
189 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1189 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of international visitors who traveled to the UK for three different purposes from 1989 to 2009.
Replaced 'count' with 'number' and 'reasons' with 'purposes' for precision.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn general, growth was observed in UK tourists for all three visit aims; however, the numbers varied for each type.
Improved cohesion by using a semicolon to separate related independent clauses.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIt is also clear that holidays were the most popular reason for visiting, in contrast to meeting friends and relatives.
Clarified comparison by using 'in contrast to' and adjusting word order.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 1989, the number of tourists who considered the UK a top holiday destination started at 6.5 million, significantly higher than other visitor types, and rose to a peak of 9 million.
Corrected punctuation and improved sentence structure.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis was followed by a decade of marginal decline, after which it reached its highest point again.
Corrected sentence fragment and improved clarity.
In contrast, both business-related and social visits began at noticeably lower quantities. The number of tourists coming here for this purpose climbed year by year, reaching 8 million, eventually ranking the second stage of popularity among other categories.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBusiness-related visits started at 5 million, followed by a slight decrease to 4 million.
Clarified the subject and removed unnecessary words for better coherence.
Lexical resource
RevisedFamily-related visits saw consistent growth throughout the period, except for the last three years.
Revised for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay presents information in a logical order, but lacks clear connections between some ideas.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to connect ideas more clearly.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
- Improve transitions between sentences.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn general, growth was observed in UK tourists for all three visit aims; however, the numbers varied for each type.
Improved cohesion by using a semicolon to separate related independent clauses.
RevisedIt is also clear that holidays were the most popular reason for visiting, in contrast to meeting friends and relatives.
Clarified comparison by using 'in contrast to' and adjusting word order.
RevisedBusiness-related visits started at 5 million, followed by a slight decrease to 4 million.
Clarified the subject and removed unnecessary words for better coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 1989, the number of tourists who considered the UK a top holiday destination started at 6.5 million, significantly higher than other visitor types, and rose to a peak of 9 million.
Corrected punctuation and improved sentence structure.
RevisedThis was followed by a decade of marginal decline, after which it reached its highest point again.
Corrected sentence fragment and improved clarity.
RevisedBusiness-related visits started at 5 million, followed by a slight decrease to 4 million.
Clarified the subject and corrected verb tense.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are imprecise or awkward.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of international visitors who traveled to the UK for three different purposes from 1989 to 2009.
Replaced 'count' with 'number' and 'reasons' with 'purposes' for precision.
RevisedThe number of tourists who considered the UK as a prime holiday destination started at 6.5 million.
Improved word choice and corrected punctuation.
RevisedFamily-related visits saw consistent growth throughout the period, except for the last three years.
Revised for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and some inaccuracies are present.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed comparisons between the categories.
- Ensure accuracy in describing data trends.
- Include more specific data points to support statements.
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