Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #16, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
205 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 September 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1205 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about how many overseas travelers who visited the UK for various reasons—business, holiday, and meeting friends and relatives— from 1989 to 2009. Overall, while the number of visitors for holiday and meeting friends and relatives increased noticeably, business reasons experienced a slight rise.
Focusing on higher trends, the number of travelers to the UK for holiday reason started at 5 million in 1989, a figure that then dropped to 4 million in 1994. , the number of visitors to the UK for holiday reason decreased to 7 million. witnessed a gradual growth approximately from 3,5 million in 1989 to 7 million in 2008, after which it went down to 6 million in 2009.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedDespite a consistent rise that reached 8 million in 2008...
Correcting grammar and clarifying the trend ensures better coherence.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe number of tourists visiting the UK for the purpose of meeting friends and relatives...
The sentence structure needs adjustment for clarity and coherence.
and then it leveled off till 1994. The number of people who visited the UK rose to 9 million between 1994 and 1999, to 6,5 million in 2004, a figure that then recovered to its initial point in 2009.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, visitors coming to the UK for business purposes started at around 6.5 million in 1989...
Clarifying that the paragraph refers to business visitors improves coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Revised...down from 6.5 million in 1994, after a noticeable decline...
Inserting a space after the comma improves readability.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay provides an overview of the trends but lacks clear organization in parts. Some transitions are missing or unclear.
Suggestions
- Improve transitions between paragraphs.
- Ensure consistent comparison throughout the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the other hand, visitors coming to the UK for business purposes started at around 6.5 million in 1989...
Clarifying that the paragraph refers to business visitors improves coherence.
RevisedThe number of tourists visiting the UK for the purpose of meeting friends and relatives...
The sentence structure needs adjustment for clarity and coherence.
RevisedDespite a consistent rise that reached 8 million in 2008...
Correcting grammar and clarifying the trend ensures better coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
There are several grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedDespite a consistent rise to 8 million in 2008...
Correct 'Despite of' to 'Despite a'.
RevisedAs for meeting friends and relatives, the number of tourists...
Adjusting the sentence structure corrects the grammatical error.
Revised...down from 6.5 million in 1994, after a noticeable decline...
Inserting a space after the comma improves readability.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses an adequate range of vocabulary with some inaccuracies.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedDespite a consistent increase to 8 million...
'Despite of' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'despite a'.
Revised...the number of tourists visiting the UK to meet friends and relatives...
Simplifying the expression makes it more natural.
RevisedAdditionally, the number of tourists...
The phrase 'As for' is awkward; 'Additionally,' fits better.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The main trends are identified, but there are inaccuracies and lacks detail.
Suggestions
- Provide clearer and more accurate data representation.
- Ensure all data is accurately reflected from the graph.
- Identify significant patterns more explicitly.
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