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Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #3, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

210 words. Marked by Axiom on 26 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Overseas visitors to the UK (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Holiday, Business, Visit to friends or relatives for 1989, 1994, 1999, 2004, 2009, in millions of visitors. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.024681019891994199920042009
Overseas visitors to the UK (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Holiday, Business, Visit to friends or relatives for 1989, 1994, 1999, 2004, 2009, in millions of visitors. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.024681019891994199920042009
Values in millions of visitors. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Overseas visitors to the UK (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (millions of visitors)
HolidayBusinessVisit to friends or relatives
19896.55.53.5
19947.7554.25
1999975.75
20047.577
200996.56

Academic Task 1210 words

The graph shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.

The line graph illustrates how many tourists with different aims visited the UK.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, the number of visitors to the UK increased over the period.

    Clarified the trend and ensured coherence.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedFurthermore, the majority of visitors came to the UK for holidays, while visits for business and to see friends or relatives were less common.

    Improved vocabulary choice and clarity.

That number gradually rose and achieved a peak at about 9 million, in 1999.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe holiday figure was consistently the highest throughout the period.

    Improved coherence by specifying the time frame.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedIn 1989, about 6.2 million visitors came to the UK to spend their holiday.

    Corrected punctuation and verb form.

  3. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedBefore experiencing a slight increase to about 8 million in the next decade, there was a steady fall to 7 million.

    Corrected tense and plural form.

By contrast, the figure for business and visiting friends or relatives had fewer numbers. In 1989, the business figure was at about 5 million, while about 4 millions of people came to the UK to friends or relatives. The number of tourist who visited the UK for friends and relatives significantly grew to 7 millions, whereas the business figure also increased to about 8 millions, before witnessing a negligible decrease to 4 millions.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedBy 2009, both business and visiting friends or relatives figures slightly decreased to 6 and 7 million, respectively.

    Clarified the time frame and figures for coherence.

Writing task 1.

26.01.25

Word counted: 199.

Time spent: ~30 minutes.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Some parts are difficult to follow due to abrupt shifts.

Suggestions

  • Use linking words to connect ideas.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
  • Summarize the main trends more clearly.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, the number of visitors to the UK increased over the period.

    Clarified the trend and ensured coherence.

  • RevisedThe holiday figure was consistently the highest throughout the period.

    Improved coherence by specifying the time frame.

  • RevisedBy 2009, both business and visiting friends or relatives figures slightly decreased to 6 and 7 million, respectively.

    Clarified the time frame and figures for coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains several grammatical errors, particularly with plural forms and verb tenses.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedIn 1989, about 6.2 million visitors came to the UK to spend their holiday.

    Corrected punctuation and verb form.

  • RevisedBefore experiencing a slight increase to about 8 million in the next decade, there was a steady fall to 7 million.

    Corrected tense and plural form.

  • Revisedwhereas the business figure also increased to about 8 million, before witnessing a negligible decrease to 4 million.

    Corrected plural form.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedFurthermore, the majority of visitors came to the UK for holidays, while visits for business and to see friends or relatives were less common.

    Improved vocabulary choice and clarity.

  • RevisedThis number gradually rose, peaking at approximately 9 million in 1999.

    Corrected word choice and improved sentence structure.

  • RevisedThe number of tourists visiting friends and relatives significantly grew to 7 million.

    Corrected plural form and improved word choice.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis of trends and comparisons.

Suggestions

  • Provide more detailed comparisons between the categories.
  • Include more specific data points to support statements.

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