Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #21, band 5.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
253 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 March 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1253 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe line graph provides information about the number of foreign visitors who traveled to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
Corrects verb tense to match the time frame.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the number of visitors increased for all three purposes, but holiday visitors experienced the most significant growth.
Clarifies the main trend and corrects grammatical errors.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedMoreover, the numbers of visitors for business and for meeting friends and relatives fluctuated before declining at the end of the period.
Clarifies which categories are being discussed and improves sentence structure.
Focusing on increase first, Starting with 6.5 million visitors in 1989, The figure then declined significantly to 6.5 million in 1999, which remained intact until 2004. From this period, the number of visitor increased considerably to around 9 million at the end of the period.
Grammar & accuracy
Revisedthe number of people who visited the UK for holidays was the highest among the three purposes.
Removes incorrect preposition and clarifies the comparison.
Lexical resource
Revisedthis figure then increased sharply to 9 million in 1994.
Removes unnecessary words and clarifies the subject.
The business visitors started at 5 million at the beginning of the period, followed by a slight decrease to approximately 4 million before starting to rise around 4.7 million in 1994 and approximately 6.3 million in 1999. Additionally, people who visited for meeting with friends and relatives began with the lowest proportion at 3.5 million, before declining slightly to 6 million at the end of the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedRegarding business and meeting friends and relatives,
Clarifies the sentence and avoids confusion between purposes.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAfter peaking at around 8 million in 2004, the number declined significantly to 7 million in 2009.
Improves sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
Revisedthis figure showed a consistent increase, reaching approximately 7 million in 2004
Removes redundant words and improves accuracy.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay attempts to organize information logically, but there are issues with paragraphing, linking devices, and clarity. Some sentences are confusing or repetitive, and transitions between ideas are sometimes unclear.
Suggestions
- Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
- Improve transitions between ideas and data points.
- Avoid repetition and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the number of visitors increased for all three purposes, but holiday visitors experienced the most significant growth.
Clarifies the main trend and corrects grammatical errors.
RevisedMoreover, the numbers of visitors for business and for meeting friends and relatives fluctuated before declining at the end of the period.
Clarifies which categories are being discussed and improves sentence structure.
RevisedRegarding business and meeting friends and relatives,
Clarifies the sentence and avoids confusion between purposes.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
There are frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, prepositions, and sentence structures. Some sentences are incomplete or awkwardly constructed.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph provides information about the number of foreign visitors who traveled to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
Corrects verb tense to match the time frame.
Revisedthe number of people who visited the UK for holidays was the highest among the three purposes.
Removes incorrect preposition and clarifies the comparison.
RevisedAfter peaking at around 8 million in 2004, the number declined significantly to 7 million in 2009.
Improves sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 5.0/ 9
The vocabulary is generally adequate but sometimes inaccurate or awkward. There are repeated phrases and some word choices are incorrect or imprecise.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedthe number of visitors increased for all three purposes to varying degrees.
Corrects pluralization and word choice.
Revisedthis figure then increased sharply to 9 million in 1994.
Removes unnecessary words and clarifies the subject.
Revisedthis figure showed a consistent increase, reaching approximately 7 million in 2004
Removes redundant words and improves accuracy.
Task achievement
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay attempts to summarize the main trends and provides some data, but there are inaccuracies and some important details are missing or unclear. The overview is not fully accurate, and some data points are misrepresented.
Suggestions
- Provide a clearer and more accurate overview of the main trends.
- Ensure all key features from the graph are included and accurately described.
- Avoid misrepresenting data and double-check figures.
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