Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #18, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
193 words. Marked by Axiom on 9 October 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1193 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009
The line graph compares the UK's foreign visitors in terms of different goals from 1989 to 2009.
Overall, it is clear that , while holidays saw varying degrees of increase.
Lexical resource
Revisedbusiness and visits to meet friends and relatives showed an upward trend
This phrasing clarifies the meaning.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIt can also be observed that the majority of visitors traveled to the UK for holidays.
This revision eliminates the use of personal pronouns, maintaining a formal tone.
In 1989, exactly six and a half million people came for holiday,
Lexical resource
Revisedattracting the most visitors, whereas three and a half million came mainly to meet friends and relatives, making it the least popular purpose that year.
This revision uses diverse vocabulary and adds clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBy 1994, the number of holiday visitors had dramatically increased to 9 million, marking the peak period.
Use of past perfect for sequence and 'marking the peak period' enhances clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedVisits for meeting friends and relatives grew considerably until 2009, reaching a peak of 7 million that year.
Improves sentence structure and eliminates awkward phrasing.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe number of holiday visitors slightly decreased from 1994 to 2004, settling at approximately six and a half million, before sharply rising to 9 million by 2009.
Identifying 'holiday visitors' improves clarity.
In the final, it decreased slightly with 7 million
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of business visitors was initially 5 million, decreased slightly to 4 million by 1994, and then increased sharply to a peak of 8 million.
Uses parallel structure for clarity and accuracy.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay presents a clear progression of ideas and effectively uses linking devices to present information cohesively.
Suggestions
- Summarize key trends in the introduction to provide better orientation for the reader.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, it is evident that visits for business and meeting friends and relatives experienced an upward trend.
Replacing 'clear' with 'evident' can enhance the formal tone.
RevisedIt can also be observed that the majority of visitors traveled to the UK for holidays.
This revision eliminates the use of personal pronouns, maintaining a formal tone.
RevisedThe number of holiday visitors slightly decreased from 1994 to 2004, settling at approximately six and a half million, before sharply rising to 9 million by 2009.
Identifying 'holiday visitors' improves clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The grammatical structures used are varied and mostly accurate, but minor errors are present.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedBy 1994, the number of holiday visitors had dramatically increased to 9 million, marking the peak period.
Use of past perfect for sequence and 'marking the peak period' enhances clarity.
RevisedVisits for meeting friends and relatives grew considerably until 2009, reaching a peak of 7 million that year.
Improves sentence structure and eliminates awkward phrasing.
RevisedThe number of business visitors was initially 5 million, decreased slightly to 4 million by 1994, and then increased sharply to a peak of 8 million.
Uses parallel structure for clarity and accuracy.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The vocabulary used is appropriate, with attempts to vary word choice somewhat effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedbusiness and visits to meet friends and relatives showed an upward trend
This phrasing clarifies the meaning.
Revisedattracting the most visitors, whereas three and a half million came mainly to meet friends and relatives, making it the least popular purpose that year.
This revision uses diverse vocabulary and adds clarity.
RevisedUltimately, the number decreased slightly to 7 million.
Using 'ultimately' instead of 'in the final' maintains formality.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The task is addressed with a suitable overview and relevant details, but some specific data points could be more clearly articulated.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points to support observations more thoroughly.
- Address all key trends and comparisons in the overview.
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