Overseas visitors to the UK: IELTS Task 1 answer #7, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
288 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Holiday | Business | Visit to friends or relatives | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1989 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 3.5 |
| 1994 | 7.75 | 5 | 4.25 |
| 1999 | 9 | 7 | 5.75 |
| 2004 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 |
| 2009 | 9 | 6.5 | 6 |
Academic Task 1288 words
The line graph shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
The line graph details information about three different purpose - holiday, business, and visiting to friends or relatives - of visiting to the UK by sea transports, within two decades starting from 1989, and all data belonged to millions.
Overall, all given three kinds of reason for coming to the UK showed upward trend.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHoliday goers maintained the first position throughout the entire period, while sea transport for visiting friends or relatives was a less preferred option overall.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the sentence structure.
In 1989, the figure of holiday visitors to the UK throughout sea has held the leading position with almost
6.5 million users. In the next five years, it decreased gradually by several thousand passengers. After that, it started dramatically growth until reaching just under 10 million visitors in
1999. However, the number of holiday passengers showed sharply decline by around 2 million but after five years of significant increase, it reached own first place, at 9 million.
Similarly, the figure of businessmen visitors practiced several fluctuations, it started the period with just over 5 million in the second place. Nevertheless, following noticeable drop until 4 million holiday goers, it showed consistently rise until 1999 - 7 million. After five years minor changes, it showed upward trend again (8 million). Nonetheless, it finished the period as a remainder own position, with a bit decrease - 7 million.
When it comes to the lowest figure, namely visitors to close relatives, initially, it has held the lowest number - just under 4 million.
Lexical resource
RevisedDespite reaching its highest figure of 7 million with 15 years of stable growth, it experienced a slight decrease and finished the period in the last position, at nearly 6 million.
The revision provides a more natural and accurate description of the data.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Consider using more complex sentence structures to provide a more detailed analysis of the data.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph details the number of overseas visitors to the UK for three different purposes - holiday, business, and visiting friends or relatives - via sea transport, over two decades starting from 1989, with all data given in millions.
The revision provides a clearer and more concise explanation of the information presented in the graph.
RevisedIn 1989, holiday visitors to the UK via sea transport held the leading position with almost 6.5 million people.
The revision simplifies the sentence and makes it more concise.
RevisedIn terms of the lowest number of visitors, those coming to the UK to visit close relatives had the lowest figure initially, at just under 4 million.
The revision provides a clearer and more detailed explanation of the information presented in the graph.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors to the UK who came for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedHoliday goers maintained the first position throughout the entire period, while sea transport for visiting friends or relatives was a less preferred option overall.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the sentence structure.
RevisedThe number of business visitors experienced several fluctuations, starting the period with just over 5 million, placing it in second position.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn the following five years, it gradually decreased by several thousand passengers.
The revision provides a more natural and accurate description of the data.
RevisedAfter that, it experienced significant growth, reaching just under 10 million visitors in 1999.
The revision provides a more natural and accurate description of the data.
RevisedDespite reaching its highest figure of 7 million with 15 years of stable growth, it experienced a slight decrease and finished the period in the last position, at nearly 6 million.
The revision provides a more natural and accurate description of the data.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data presented in the graph. The writer makes effective comparisons and identifies key trends and features.
Suggestions
- Make sure to accurately interpret the data and avoid making any assumptions or including any information that is not directly presented in the graph.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free