Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #18, band 5.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
170 words. Marked by Axiom on 7 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1170 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas of a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates how many overseas people visited to three various area of a European country from 1987 to 2007. Overall, it is obvious that all three different areas experienced upward trends till end of the period. Furthermore,
Lexical resource
Revised...the coast was the most visited site throughout the period.
The phrase 'over others all the time' is awkward and can be replaced with 'throughout the period' for better clarity.
In 1987, the coast was the most visited site and approximately fourty thousand tourists visited to there. The number of visitors decreased slightly at 30 thousand in 1992. After that the coast experienced an upward trend and end of the period recieved 70 thousand visitors.
and recieved 20 thousand visitors but over the period the mountains experienced a slight increase and reached at 30 thousand visitors. The lakes were visited by 10 thousand tourists in 1987, After that it saw a decrease around 53 thousand and became the second most visited area end of the period.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn the beginning, the mountains were considered the second most visited site...
The phrase 'the mountains was considered' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'the mountains were considered'.
Lexical resource
Revised...then it grew sharply and reached 75 thousand visitors in 2002.
The phrase '75 thousands visitors' is incorrect. It should be '75 thousand visitors'.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the information flows in a coherent manner. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to make your writing more interesting and easy to follow.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors to three different areas of a European country from 1987 to 2007.
The use of 'to' after 'visited' is incorrect. 'Visited to' should be 'visited'. Also, 'three various area' should be 'three different areas'.
RevisedThe coast was the most visited site throughout the period.
The phrase 'over others all the time' is awkward and can be replaced with 'throughout the period' for better clarity.
RevisedIn the beginning, the mountains were the second most visited site...
The phrase 'the begining' should be spelled 'the beginning'. Also, the verb 'was' should be 'were' to agree with the plural subject 'the mountains'.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some inaccuracies in grammar and word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of overseas people visited three various areas of a European country from 1987 to 2007.
The phrase 'visited to three various area' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'visited three various areas'.
RevisedIn the beginning, the mountains were considered the second most visited site...
The phrase 'the mountains was considered' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'the mountains were considered'.
Revised...then it saw a decrease to around 53 thousand and became the second most visited area by the end of the period.
The phrase 'became the second most visited area end of the period' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'became the second most visited area by the end of the period'.
Lexical resource
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.
Sentence revisions 2
Revised...the coast was the most visited site throughout the period.
The phrase 'over others all the time' is awkward and can be replaced with 'throughout the period' for better clarity.
Revised...then it grew sharply and reached 75 thousand visitors in 2002.
The phrase '75 thousands visitors' is incorrect. It should be '75 thousand visitors'.
Task achievement
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more precise comparisons.
Suggestions
- Include specific data from the graph to support your main points.
- Make sure to use the correct units of measurement.
- Try to make more precise comparisons between the different areas.
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