Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #20, band 5.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
158 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1158 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to tree different areas in a Europian country between 1987 and 2007
The graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors (in thousands) to three different areas—a coast, the mountains, and the lakes—in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
Overview:
Overall, the number of visitors to the coast and the mountains increased steadily over the 20-year period, while the lakes experienced a significant rise followed by a sharp decline after 2002.
Detailed Analysis:
In 1987, the coast was the most popular destination with 40,000 visitors, while the lakes attracted 10,000 visitors, making it the least visited area. The mountains had around 20,000 visitors.
Lexical resource
RevisedBy 1992, the number of visitors to the coast experienced a slight decrease but then rose steadily, reaching approximately 75,000 visitors by 2007.
Using 'experienced a slight decrease' and 'rose steadily' provides a more dynamic and engaging description of the visitor pattern.
Meanwhile, the mountains experienced a gradual but steady increase in visitor numbers, growing from 20,000 to 35,000 over the period.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe lakes experienced the most dramatic change, rising from 10,000 in 1987 to a peak of 75,000 in 2002, then dropping sharply to 50,000 by 2007.
The use of the comma is not necessary after the word '2002' as the sentence is a continuous explanation of the lakes' visitor pattern.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview and detailed analysis. The information flows smoothly, and the writer uses appropriate connectors to link ideas.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate your ability.
Sentence revisions 2
Revised$The graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors (in thousands) to three different areas—coast, mountains, and lakes—in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
Avoid using the dollar sign ($) in the beginning of the sentence. The use of a dollar sign is unnecessary and can be confusing.
RevisedThe lakes experienced the most significant fluctuation, increasing from 10,000 in 1987 to a peak of 75,000 in 2002, followed by a sharp decline to 50,000 by 2007.
Using 'experienced the most significant fluctuation' provides a clearer and more precise description of the lakes' visitor pattern.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. Those that do occur are 'slips' and do not hinder communication.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors (in thousands) to three different areas—the coast, the mountains, and the lakes—in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The article 'the' is required before 'coast' as it is specific the one mentioned earlier.
RevisedThe lakes experienced the most dramatic change, rising from 10,000 in 1987 to a peak of 75,000 in 2002, then dropping sharply to 50,000 by 2007.
The use of the comma is not necessary after the word '2002' as the sentence is a continuous explanation of the lakes' visitor pattern.
Lexical resource
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage. The vocabulary is generally used appropriately with only minor errors.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe lakes underwent the most significant transformation, increasing from 10,000 in 1987 to a peak of 75,000 in 2002, followed by a sharp decrease to 50,000 by 2007.
Using 'underwent the most significant transformation' is a more precise and formal expression.
RevisedBy 1992, the number of visitors to the coast experienced a slight decrease but then rose steadily, reaching approximately 75,000 visitors by 2007.
Using 'experienced a slight decrease' and 'rose steadily' provides a more dynamic and engaging description of the visitor pattern.
Task achievement
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also presents detailed supporting facts.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the overview is comprehensive and includes all key trends or changes.
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